Whatever.

I just nearly burst into tears because I couldn't find my dish sponge.

Raging hormones? YA THINK????

There's a freaking SQUIRREL stealing birdseed out of my feeders. They haven't noticed the feeder for over SIX months. NOW he decides to realize it's there? A) I can't afford to feed the motherhumper, and 2) The birds won't come to the feeder while he's there. If I had a fence I would SO let the dogs out to chase him up the maple tree.

Buttmunch societally acceptable rat.

My boys are Ok.

Diana, one of my very best friends, and the mom of my almost four year old twin Godsons, lives in Murfreesboro, TN, not too far from Nashville.

I called them last night, and when they got home she called me back. They're all ok. Baseball sized hail dented the daylights out of her car, but it's all ok, no window/windshield damage. She had cleaned out a hall closet and had plans to stuff herself, the boys, her two dogs, and the cat if she could catch her into that closet if a tornado came up where they are. While I was on the phone with her a tornado had been spotted 30 miles from her.

The boys, bless them, were totally unaffected by everything going on around them. Yukon, her 13 year old Spitz mix, has a lifetime phobia of thunderstorms, and when they got home last night she couldn't find him anywhere in the house. She finally located him under a bed, and once he realized they were home he dodged her heels the entire rest of the evening.

This was the second round of major storms in a week in her area. She is trying to find a job here so she can move them all and be close to us, and I wish sooner rather than later. A couple of years ago a tornado touched down a block away from her and destroyed the entire street. I want her out of there.

I'm very grateful that everyone is ok.

Serenity when?

Abdul Rahman could die because of his beliefs. He believes SO strongly in his faith in Christ that he's ready to die for it. So I've been sitting here watching the news each day wondering if there's anything I believe that strongly.

I haven't come up with a thing.

I feel sad about that. In my mind I feel completely secure in my opinions that the universe is random, that we evolved from apes, that everyone is entitled to personal freedom, that animals need our stewardship and care, but I don't know that if anyone held a gun to my head and told me to renounce my beliefs that I'd be willing to let them pull the trigger.

To quote a famous poster: I Want to Believe.

My mother would die for her beliefs. I know that as well as I know that my husband believes in nothing. My mother is dead certain that her faith will be rewarded, and that she is on the Right Path. Rich cannot believe in anything that can't be proven. So I muddle through life, HOPING that there's something bigger than all of us, having a tiny glimmer of certainty that I know sort of what it might be, but always feeling doubt.

I wish for the serenity that my mother has. I wish for the ability to "let go and let God." I wonder if this child that is coming will change my mind.

Most people have a squirrel

We have a Turkey Vulture.

He's been coming around for weeks now, and gradually we've gotten him farther and farther from the road so he won't get creamed. This morning he showed up early, at about 7:24. I thawed a piece of flounder for him, and when I went outside he started to run off. I kiss-kiss-kissed at him, and he literally came running back, I'm sure thinking, "FOOD!!" Chucked the flounder and he snarfed it down, then he walked off into the woods.

I don't know if his wing will ever heal to the point where he can fly again, and I hope we can nab him and get him to the rehabbers so he'll be safe.

Although at times my life can suck, it's never, ever boring.

How can $13 ruin a day?

Rich gave me $100 to go buy groceries and get the car inspected. After he left I realized I needed to replace the windshield wipers in order to pass inspection. Emailed him and he said it should be enough.

Spent $12 on blades.

Spent $69 at Food Lion. I only bought stuff that was on sale, and only bought stuff that was on my list.

That left me with $17. An inspection is $30.

Now, I know pregnancy can make you emotional, but damn. The despair I sank into because I can't afford anything. I feel like I never, ever have enough. And screw having any extra. I felt guilty for buying a bag of pumpkin seeds because they aren't necessary.

So. How can a person NOT let a matter of $13 ruin the day? I'd really love to know.