Sunday, November 18, 2007

Why Keep Your Head?

So you don't look like an ass, that's why.

This morning I got up at 6:44am in the dark to make coffee. I went into the kitchen and discovered I was short a dog. There should be 2 dogs in this house, but the only dog sleeping on the kitchen floor was Emma, who looked rather pleased to be by herself.

Ginny was nowhere.

I ran back to check the bedroom hallway and she wasn't there. I checked the living room, under and behind furniture, and no dog there either. Went back into the kitchen and looked AGAIN under the kitchen table. Nope. By this time my heart was pounding and I was convinced that Rich had too much beer last night and accidentally let Ginny out of the house, and she ran off. I was THISCLOSE to running into the bedroom and yanking the covers off of Rich and calling him a bastard when I noticed that the door to the office was adjar a smidge.

I pushed the door open and said "Psst." into the dark. A giant knucklehead popped up, looking sheepish. I told her to get her ass out of there and she ran past me into the kitchen, over to where Emma was lying.

Emma isn't pleased anymore.

Saturday, November 03, 2007

I'm done

Just so you all know. I plan to become an alcoholic drug addict who needs to strip for her drug money.

Too bad I don't have a babysitter.

Not that anyone would want to watch this kid anyway. They'd ask for twice what I was going to pay them and then bolt out the door like The Flash.

Anyway, I just thought you should all know my new plans. Thanks for reading.