Emma Sucks

You'd never know it from this photo, but this dog is on my very last nerve. First of all, you all know she shits in the kitchen. I've mentioned that several times. Well, last night after Livvie went to bed Rich and I went out to smoke. I had left the baby gate open and for some reason I looked through the kitchen window. Just in time to see Emma hustling through the house into the hallway. I shoved my cigarette at Rich and ran into the house after her, where I picked her up and carried her back into the kitchen. Thank goodness she only weighs 37 pounds. Anyway, I locked her in the kitchen, went to finish my cigarette, and then put a leash on her and took her outside where, you guessed it, she shit. Awesome.

So Rich and I just went out for a cigarette and I forgot to close the baby gate again. I opened the door to go close it and saw Emma running out of the living room into the kitchen. I ran in and closed the gate and went out to finish smoking. Went back inside and looked in the living room and found a stain on the carpet. I can't tell whether or not it's new or old. I used Spot Shot on it and while I was cleaning it up Emma was slinking around under the kitchen table, so she's feeling bad about something.

She's a sneak, plain and simple. I found her dumped on the side of the road 5 years ago and now I'm pretty sure that she was dumped for house soiling. She's pretty old too, so I wonder how many households she went through before I found her. None of this matters to me though, because overnight she's perfectly capable of going 12 hours without peeing in the kitchen. There's absolutely NO reason for her to pee in the house after only 4 hours, and it pisses me off that she will.

So yeah, I love animals. I even love Emma. But right now she's on my shit list and she's not getting off of it anytime soon.

It's about Time

I talked about Clancy.

On January 3rd or thereabouts of 1991 I went into the shelter and was helping a friend adopt a cat we had brought in as a stray. A man brought in a huge blue carrier full of cats and kittens, and when I commented on it the staff member told me that he did this often, he was a habitual surrenderer, and that all of his cats were outside in dirt pens. I saw a tiny orange butt pressed against the back grate of the carrier, and I asked if there was an orange kitten inside. The staff member got him out, and Clancy walked into my life.

I adopted Clancy that day, and he was my companion, my soul mate through my entire adult life (I was 19 when I took him home). He was indoors only (although when he became ill and didn't move fast he sat with me on the gated deck when it was pleasant out…) He talked my head off, was demanding, was in charge of the entire menagerie in the house, and had the best strut in the world. In 2003 he was diagnosed diabetic, and was on insulin off and on for awhile. He was mostly regulated by diet. In 2005 he was diagnosed with polycystic kidney disease, and in June they said he had months, not years, left to live.

On February 2nd of 2006 he died in my arms. The vet helped him cross the bridge, and it was one of the most special moments of my life. He was an amazing cat, and it was an honor to be with him when he left this world.

He was that ONE special cat for me, although I love all of them, he was the boy that tore my heart in two when he went, and the hole he left will never be filled.

So on February 2nd I had a Very Bad Day. I've also been having Very Bad Days since, remembering him, missing him, certain I can see him out of the corner of my eye. Every February will be difficult for me, and I know that.

I miss him desperately.

Into The West

Lay down, 

your sweet and weary head.

Night is falling. 

You have come to journey’s end.

Sleep now,and dream 

of the ones who came before.

They are calling, 

from across a distant shore.

Why do you weep? 

What are these tears upon your face?

Soon you will see.

All of your fears will pass away.

Safe in my arms, 

you’re only sleeping.

What can you see,

on the horizon?

Why do the white gulls call?

Across the sea,

a pale moon rises.

The ships have come,

to carry you home.

And all will turn, 

to silver glass.

A light on the water.

All souls pass.

Hope fades,

Into the world of night.

Through shadows falling,

Out of memory and time.

Don’t say, 

We have come now to the end.

White shores are calling.

You and I will meet again.

And you’ll be here in my arms,

Just sleeping.

What can you see,

on the horizon?

Why do the white gulls call?

Across the sea,

a pale moon rises.

The ships have come,

to carry you home.

And all will turn, 

to silver glass.

A light on the water.

Grey ships pass

Into the West.

It's a Post about Nothing

Do you know what drives me absolutely bugshit? Hearing my dog chewing on her feet. Ginny chews on her own toenails, and I don't even have to trim them because she rips off the long ends and I find them on the floor. I'm sensing that with the new low shag rug I'm going to be stepping on their hard little points before I even see them.

I just told her to knock it off 4 times in the past 2 minutes. She's on a roll, obsessively chewing, chewing, chewing. It's going right through my ear drums and into my brain, which is not in good shape after the drunken blog debauchery of last night. Yes, I got drunk. I put Livvie to bed and hit the big jug of Jim Beam and started pouring the Coke Zeros. I hit the point of tipsy after drink number 3, and hit the point of blotto by drink number 6. I ended up IMing with a friend of mine, who was also rather lit, so that means we weren't drinking alone, right? Actually 2 of my friends were IMing while lit, and that means I had a party at my desk. Rich was drinking beer. Lightweight. :)

Ginny is now licking the baby gate. Awesome.

I love dogs but they're totally disgusting. Thankfully I don't have dogs that roll in nasty stuff in the yard, and that's good because I once found 2 dead turtles in the yard that Rich had accidentally hit with the lawnmower. Ginny was absolutely interested in them, but I had her on a leash and managed to keep her from eating them. And I'm absolutely sure she would have tried. Witness hot wing incident of 2007.

That's all for today. Have a great weekend everyone. And stay away from the bourbon and cokes.

Yippee Ki Yay

and you know the rest...




Tomorrow Rich and I are taking even more of the tax money and attempting to find a rug and a chair. The rug is for the living room. To pull the whole room together. The chair is for the office, because he's currently sitting on a kitchen chair in there and it's killing his back.

Money. Spending money. Ah man, it's a good thing he's doing the spending right now because being somewhat manic right now I could seriously outspend him in a heartbeat.

I want a new Macbook Air. Yes I do. If I had had my druthers the entire federal refund would have been spent on one. I shit you not, I saw that thing in the commercial come sliding out of the interoffice envelope and I just about wet my pants. Rich calls it Julie Porn. He's probably right. I could go into an Apple store and drop literally $5k without even blinking an eye.

I got my "allowance" on Friday and it's sitting in my bank account. What will it be used for you ask? Well...

Dog food
Cat food
Heartworm Preventative
Frontline Flea & Tick Preventative (I saw a seed tick today. In February. Whatever.)
Car Insurance
Smokes

I might end up having to bump the car insurance back 2 weeks, as I'm not sure how much the Frontline will cost. Exciting times, huh folks? None of this spending is enough to satisfy my mania. I'm three heartbeats away from going on eBay and buying Season One of Buffy. Yes, yes I am. Why is Season One worth it? Well because of exposition. You need Season One to enjoy the rest, even though the makeup and clothes are pretty bad. Trust me on this. Oh, and if you've never seen Buffy, do so post haste. I guarantee you'll be hooked.

Dog Shit and Favorite Mugs

Yes. Dog shit. This morning Rich and I woke up at the same time. One would think that was a good thing because it meant Rich wouldn't be THAT late for work. And in a normal household, that would be correct. But you see, as I'm sure I have mentioned before, I NEED to get up first so that I can check the kitchen for dog shit. And this morning, as Rich was putting on his robe, I FLEW out of the room and into the kitchen to find... dog shit. Thanks Emma. So while Rich was getting Livvie out of bed I sped over to the stash of plastic grocery bags and grabbed up the dog shit and threw it in the garbage in approximately 3.5 seconds. This prevented Rich from discovering the transgression and killing the culprit involved. However, I have not been speaking to said culprit all day. Hey, why should I?

As for the second transgression this morning... well, Rich used one of my two favorite mugs. I have a kitty cat mug and a Maryland crab mug. The kitty cat mug was in the dishwasher. Rich came out of the kitchen with MY mug in his hands. I froze. I said, "HEY. That's my mug!" He said, "It's A mug." I then had to go into the cabinet and find a mug that I could tolerate. It ended up being an X-Files mug that had once been my favorite but has been cast aside since the acquisition of kitty cat and crabs. My coffee then tasted meh.

I am pathetic.

(For those wondering, the order of mugs goes like this:

Kitty Cat
Crabs
Bats
X-Files
X-Files 2
Taurus
Chessie Systems
Halloween Cat
Animaniacs

All others are free and clear for Rich to use.)

Why Keep Your Head?

So you don't look like an ass, that's why.

This morning I got up at 6:44am in the dark to make coffee. I went into the kitchen and discovered I was short a dog. There should be 2 dogs in this house, but the only dog sleeping on the kitchen floor was Emma, who looked rather pleased to be by herself.

Ginny was nowhere.

I ran back to check the bedroom hallway and she wasn't there. I checked the living room, under and behind furniture, and no dog there either. Went back into the kitchen and looked AGAIN under the kitchen table. Nope. By this time my heart was pounding and I was convinced that Rich had too much beer last night and accidentally let Ginny out of the house, and she ran off. I was THISCLOSE to running into the bedroom and yanking the covers off of Rich and calling him a bastard when I noticed that the door to the office was adjar a smidge.

I pushed the door open and said "Psst." into the dark. A giant knucklehead popped up, looking sheepish. I told her to get her ass out of there and she ran past me into the kitchen, over to where Emma was lying.

Emma isn't pleased anymore.

Koko

When I was 19 years old I got myself a kitten. She was 7 weeks old, and I got her at a yard sale. She was free to good home. I drove home with her crying in the back seat, and the very first night she punched me in the eye while I was sleeping.

She used to fit into roller skates, that's how tiny she was. My roommate and I would put her in a skate and cruise her around the hardwood floors.

When she was 9 mos old I got Clancy, another babycat, and Koko was VERY unhappy. Koko was a tortoiseshell you see, and they do NOT like other animals. I was unaware of that before I got Clancy. Now I know.

Eventually Koko and Clancy reached an accord, and lived for 15+ years together. Clancy used to torment Koko by staring at her and not touching her. You could almost hear 2 kids in the back of a car. "Mom! He's looking at me!" "So? I'm not touching you!"

Koko like canned food and water. She loved yarn. She loved curling up next to the space heaters and when I was lucky enough to have a fireplace she would camp out right in front of it.

Today I helped Koko cross from this world. She was 17 and ill, but it was one of the hardest things I've ever done. The vet, Dr Mullins, deserves a special mention, because she did a wonderful job with the actual procedure. But my babycat is gone, the last bit of my 20s is gone, and I'll never see that pissed off catface again.

She will be most assuredly missed, every day, for the rest of my days.