Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Dear Fucktard-

You of the "Unknown Name/Unknown Number" pussification...

It was 430am, asshat. Let's leave aside the fact that I have a newborn and sleep is a precious commodity. Let's ignore the fact that I was finally back to sleep after the 230 feeding and woke up my son when I had to leap up and check the display on the phone, which was all the way across the room.

And I did have to check it.

My mom is 78 and lives over 400 miles away. When the phone rings in the middle of the night I can't help but panic.

The Boy is now still awake. As am I. So thanks again, moron. I swear to dog if your number had come up I would make sure to set an alarm to call you at 430am sometime over the weekend.


Tuesday, May 12, 2009

He's Here

Jonas was born at 11:41 am via emergency c-section because of a prolapsed cord. Mama and baby are doing fine. He is 6 pounds 12 ounces and 21 inches long. Send them your good wishes. Welcome to the world little man!

Friday, May 08, 2009

No Baby Yet

I was "scheduled" to be induced on Wednesday. Turns out they set it up like triage, in that those who have more urgent needs get priority, and my painful legs and limited mobility are not life threatening so I've been neglected.

Apparently Rex hospital schedules on average 6 inductions per day, 6 C-Sections per day, and then they have the pesky women coming in who go into labor all by themselves.

So right now we're in a holding pattern. They don't induce on weekends, so since I have yet to receive a call if I don't go into labor on my own this weekend we're looking at next week now.

My due date is Tuesday.

In the meantime I have been given permission to keep taking my Vicodin for the pain. I'm not all that happy about it, but whatever. There's nothing I can do.

My bag is packed. I keep getting everything "done" so I can leave the house without wigging about stuff being left for Rich and my mom. The laundry is once again complete, the dishes are all done, the house is vacuumed, etc etc etc...

The only thing that I'm even remotely happy about in this is that I've been given extra one on one time with Livvie. I will never again have that luxury.

Sunday, May 03, 2009

Swine Flu, Shmine Flu...

Facial secretions are gross.

We were all at the grocery store today, and we were in the ethnic food/seasonings aisle and one of the store employees came walking up the aisle. He was sneezing. Repeatedly. Could be allergies. Could be cooties. I'm having a baby on Wednesday, and we had a toddler in the cart, so we decided not to take any chances and we went to the next aisle.

While we were in that aisle the employee walked past and we got an eyeful of him wiping his nose with his bare hands and then wiping his hands on his clothing.

In a grocery store.

Then, with horror, we realized he was approaching the check out lane where we usually go. He was the bagger. Which meant he would be handling the purchases. With relief we noticed another lane open, and we continued into the produce area.

As we approached produce we spied another employee and a manager having a conversation. While they were speaking the employee was biting his nails. We couldn't tell if he was spitting them out or swallowing them. We looked at each other and rolled our eyes, and then were stunned when they walked over to where the greens are displayed and he started HANDLING THE PRODUCE. With spit hands. And the manager said nothing.

I bought a bag of apples and 2 bags of potatoes. Today, if it didn't come in a bag it wasn't getting purchased.

And yes, God only knows what happened with the folks who actually PUT the produce into the bags, but that's why I scrub my food with soap and water before I use it.

Cooties man. They're everywhere.