4.5 Years and I'm still not Countrified

The night before last I took Emma out back to potty in the dark. And when I say dark, I mean it is VERY dark out here in the land of no street lights.

So we're standing in the center of the yard and I'm waiting for her to pick a spot. 

Just as she starts to squat, a deer walks out of the woods and into the yard to our left.

That's right. There's a dog and an above average sized human female in the yard, and the deer walked IN.

So I squinted. Yep, there was a rack.

The deer took a few more steps forward.

I whispered, "Emma pee. Pee Emma. Go. Go go go. Done? Come on. PEE."

She finished peeing, and I hauled ass, calling over my shoulder, "We're leaving! Okay???"

I have TOTALLY seen this on TV. These things don't screw around.


Am I a pussy? Probably. But the first winter I was here I had walked Emma into the subdivision next door one night, and as we turned a curve we came up on a buck with a full rack. He looked at us for a second and then snorted. Loudly. One hoof scraped the ground. We ran.