Sunday, September 20, 2009

Dear Great Spaghetti God-

Why you gotta hate?

I try to be a good person. I work hard at it, as my natural tendency is to run the other way. But, honestly, this is getting retarded.

Yes. I used the R word. The one the PC police want abolished from the vocab. Suck it.

I have a toddler who is sick, getting better, but sick. Bad enough, as she's 3 years old, and she doesn't understand why she feels like shit. So the tantrums yesterday were colossal. But she's also performing various tricks she's learned from the little shits at preschool. It's a lot of fun.

I have an infant with reflux who is refusing to eat because he has teeth coming in. So on top of the teething pain we have I AM FUCKING STARVING tantrums. He's 4 months old. Cause and effect is not in the lexicon yet.

My husband? He's ready to put a bullet in his head because he has an open tooth with the nerve exposed. Shit keeps getting into it. Massive pain ensues. Did you know that when you feel pain your blood pressure rises? His BP was high enough already, thank you. He's filching my vicodin so he doesn't jump into traffic. My vicodin? Oh that would be for...

My back. My fucking back that the godawful moron anesthesiologist fucked up when she tried multiple times to jam the catheter into my spine for my epidural FOUR months ago. I had 2 decent days this week, O Spaghetti God, but thanks to stress and very bad sleeping arrangements it's about a 7 on the scale again. Take the vicodin? I can't. Someone has to be functional in case anything happens to the kids.

Shall we extend the radius?

My husband's sister has breast cancer. Thanks for that. Selfish, maybe, but since my mother only developed breast cancer because of the ginormous amounts of hormones they put her on so she could get pregnant with me, I don't really truly consider it to run in my family, so I figured Livvie was mostly safe. Nope. Not anymore.

My mother, 78 years old and working full time, is having to take care of my dad's sister who has Alzheimers and is getting way worse. She's getting lost in her own house. Has ZERO clue where her own bedroom is if she wanders out of it in the middle of the night. Puts food from the freezer on the counter and leaves it. Sticks things in the microwave and forgets them. Mom had to remove the knobs from the stove because of An Incident. So thanks for that too.

Dunno what to do here, at this point. Mom says the shit storm is because I'm an agnostic. I find it hard to believe that others would be punished for my "failings."

That is all.


Me said...

I would like to say something either comforting or profound. All I can think to say is "shit". Sorry life sucks.

Dagny said...

life sucks.

then you die.

or how about.

life is pain.

I'm sure neither help.