Mah Bukkit

The other day Coyote posted something of a Bucket List on f445. She finished by asking what everyone else wants out of life.

It's taken me a few days to really decide.

Naturally I had flashes of irrationality. "A pony." Well, we have no place to put a pony. So that would have to be followed by, "a barn," which would then be followed by, "enough money to build a barn and feed a pony and get it regular vet checkups," which was then followed by, "a winning Powerball ticket." Reality always injects itself into my pipe dreams.

Turns out a whole lot of the things I want out of life could be managed by the purchase of one decent, winning Powerball ticket.

So my Bucket List is going to begin with the things I would do with a winning ticket and end with the things I want from life that are attainable without large sums of cash.

I want to pay off the mortgages of all of my friends. Most of my friends would have ample funds to get through daily life if they didn't have that nasty, monthly payment to make. If certain friends wanted out of their Hell Homes, I would buy their homes from them and purchase another for them instead. I want to buy a tremendous amount of land and build a commune of sorts for any friends and relatives who would like to pitch their suckass jobs and work the land with me. I would study modern agriculture at NC State to make that easier. I would build homes for my mother and Rich's mother wherever they wanted them. I would make sure they were handicap accessible just in case. I would send my mother to Germany to find her long lost cousins. I want to take flying lessons for small planes and purchase one. I want to build a free standing stone pub with loads of parking and two fireplaces and WiFi. Every October I would hold an "Atrocious Poetry Slam," and the writer of the most obnoxious piece of crap would receive a free bar tab for a year. I would build a house for myself on the coast of Maine or Nova Scotia. I would fly us there at least three times a year. I want to donate five hundred thousand dollars to my local animal shelter, wherever that might be, in order for them to better serve the community. Every year I would put aside one hundred thousand dollars to help people pay their heat and power bills, because I've been there. Three million would be divided between Alzheimer's, Breast Cancer, and Diabetes. I would buy a really, really, honking big telescope and live somewhere it gets dark enough to really use it.

Now I offer my list of attainables.

Someday I would like to be able to cook any food that I was craving, and do it well. A pony could actually be an attainable someday as Rich can build anything, and a barn wouldn't be that difficult. Once I go back to work we could afford vet care and food. I want to learn how to use a lathe properly and work with large blocks of wood to make dough bowls. I want to keep writing and keep learning how to do it better. I want to learn how to grow basil successfully. I want to get to the beach more often. I really want to raise my children to not be brats. I want to try star fruit. I want to try a persimmon. I want to visit Iceland and New Zealand. Someday a trip on Amtrak is in order. With a sleeping car. I want to drink a glass of Johnny Walker Blue. I don't need a whole bottle. I want to be able to buy potted, live Christmas trees and plant them in the spring. Imperative is the purchase of a better camera and learning to use Photoshop. My creative attempts with my current camera are always thwarted by its limited technology. I need to learn to ride a horse well. I'd also like to learn to joust. And fencing. I once dated a guy who took fencing classes, and I was terribly jealous. I need to get over my fear of electricity. I want to take shag dancing lessons and have Beach Music parties on the deck every summer. I want to learn to cook the perfect medium-rare steak on the grill. I want to learn how to operate a Bobcat. I want to start a monthly poker or rummy game and have at least 2 card tables to accommodate everyone. I want to get a pair of glasses decent enough to allow me to hit a baseball with a bat. I want to teach my kids how to actually play baseball. And basketball. And football (Rich's job). I want to grow a really big pumpkin patch and hope it's the most sincere. I want a really awesome iPod so I can read books at night in the dark. I want Rich to teach me to play the drums. I want a third, and final, tattoo. I want to learn how to make my own pizza dough and hoagie rolls. I want to make my own panzarottis and cheese steaks (so I need to buy a fryer and a griddle). I want to learn to make really good biscuits, Brunswick Stew, and hush puppies.

Think I have enough time?