Friday, April 06, 2007

The Double Standard

Why is it ok for guys to talk about gross things but they wig when chicks do? That said, if any guys are reading this STOP READING NOW.

So the Today Sponge is back on the market and I loved it in my early 20s so I bought some. I had the opportunity to use one last night (yay me!) and after the nasty is performed you're supposed to leave it in for several hours to be certain all stragglers are dead. This morning I woke up and had 2 cups of coffee, and then eventually the coffee did its job. I went into the bathroom and sat down and unfortunately had my wee'un in the room with me. I have no choice these days. So I'm sitting there, going about my bidness, and know what? After childbirth things really DO change in the Netherlands. The sponge shot out of me and bounced off the toilet rim and then bounced off the bathtub and landed next to my daughter on the floor. I had to lunge for it, ass in the wind, before the kid could grab it and start teething on it. Nowhere in the instructions is it mentioned that this form of birthcontrol can be applied as a projectile weapon.

Also, I'm back on psych meds. I'm on an Anatypical Antipsychotic called Risperdal. In the VERY long list of possible side effects it mentions that it can increase the levels of Prolactin in the blood. Prolactin is the hormone that causes women to lactate. My ever loving husband declared that I'd better not lactate on him, so I keep running around the house squeezing my girls at him making "Skishskishskish" sounds. He finds this disgusting, but it makes me laugh, and hey, that's all that matters at this point.

3 comments:

Jennifer said...

LMAO.
glad you are feeling better. :)

Michele said...

LOL!

yeah, I think one of the reasons my hubby avoids touching my breasts is for fear they will leak on him. it's just milk for crying out loud, not flesh-eating acid. :P

I wonder how he would feel if he whipped out his dingle and I said "ew, keep away! it might leak on me!"

Miss said...

from sponges to psych meds to leaky boobies in one entry. some things never change. bless you, mon toots.