Tuesday, June 26, 2007

Nagging?

I'm trying to figure out why every man I have ever known has told me that they can't remember to do something unless they're reminded to do so, and yet women are categorically referred to as "naggers."

I don't know how many of you out there have had this experience, but Rich and I have had to work out a system where I need to remind him weekly that I need time to clean the litter boxes or he simply doesn't remember to offer me that time.

I also have to remind him to watch the baby to give me time to take a shower, make dinner, take out the trash, etc.

Now, I understand that it wouldn't occur to him normally to say, "Hey honey, why don't you go take a shower and I'll watch the baby," although he has done that a few times after I've reminded him throughout the day that I need a shower. And while he has only rarely snapped at me that "he knows" when I tell him something needs doing, he has never called me a nag. So I appreciate that in him.

What I don't understand is that I have polled some guys and most of them have replied that they in fact won't simply remember something unless reminded. So why are we called nags at all?

I have a feeling the answer lies with the fact that men (and all people) can have a tendency to project their feelings onto others. I might be wrong, and if so, feel free to remind me of that or I'll never remember.

7 comments:

Not that crazy... said...

GoD! You're such a nagging bitch!

Julie said...

I know!!! I should get my pie hole duct taped shut or something!

Anonymous said...

I find it very strange that he would need to be told to take care of the baby while you were in the shower. It reads as though, if you just got in the shower without reminding him, he would just leave her there to starve?

Please help me with the understanding.

Thanks.

--Anonymous guy who obviously has never been a mother.

P.S. congratulations on your family, since I think last we spoke you weren't even expecting.

Kelly said...

Uh, yeah, that is a great question. To anon's scenario, if I just left my child on the floor and went into the shower, and DH had to tend to her, he'd say something to the effect "Thanks for letting me know what was going on", sarcastically, of course. DH doesn't call me a nag either, but that doesn't negate the fact that it's bullshit that they always need to be reminded about this stuff. But maybe they really are wired that way and can't change it, who knows?

Kelly said...

Oh, and in Julie's case, I think if she just left her baby and hopped in the shower, the baby would have constructed a complex pulley system and would be hoisting the cats before Julie even had her hair washed. LOL.

sara said...

here's my take (based on what happens in my house, usually):

men tell us what they are going to do- i am going out on my bike now. i am going to take a dump now. i am going to get something to eat now.

woman ASK if we can do something- is it ok if i take a shower now? can i grab something to eat when you are done? can you watch the baby while i switch the laundy?

so, we are always asking if it is ok to do something very ordinary while men just DO and don't figure out who is going to scramble to help them them accomplish whatever DO they are about to DO.

just a thought. we need to stop asking.

Michele said...

How about this line, which I had to say this week,

"Honey. I'm 5 minutes late for work. Why are you handing me the bottle to feed the baby? Do you THINK you can take over now????"

His reply?

"well why didn't you tell me?"

DUMBASS. LOL... we've only been doing the "you take over monday and tuesday morning so I can go to work" routine for 5 months now. You would think I wouldn't have to tell him every week??? :P