Slinging some bull

Ok, let's be honest. If it's October, I am GOING to go all Taurus-y and consume everything in my path. Beer, food, men. It really hasn't mattered. If I'm going to get in trouble at all, you can bet it's October.

I'm not sure if I believe in the Zodiac. I know for sure that I think my horoscope is usually bunk. I also know that if you look up "Taurus" in The Big Book O' Sun Signs or whatever it's called my photo is right there.

So it's been somewhat strange. I don't know if October figures so prominently because Taurus is right overhead, hoarding the seven sisters from Orion, and I go outside, look up and see those horns, or what. I do know that back in the day, one had better lock up their boys and their liquor cabinets. And the pie closet.

I met my husband in October. I actually met him for the first time at a greenway so we could take a walk. I had pulled my truck over to park and wait, and he swung himself out of his Silverado wearing jeans and chewing gum and he had that same deliberate walk that Henry Fonda did. I managed to behave myself until the end of the World Series, but the Sox were up against the Yankees in the rematch of the century, and I told him if the Sox won he'd be a very lucky man. I don't think he believed I was serious. Yes, I do hate the Yankees that much. The Sox won.

Even if I've been cooking the basics up to that point, in October I start following my taste buds and my capacity. Last week I bought 2 turkeys. Oh you can bet they'll be gone by the end of the month, even though one weighed 16.5 pounds and the other weighed 20. I also snagged everything I need to make a sage sausage stuffing. And 10 pounds of potatoes.

I've been drinking Yuengling Light with Rich all summer. Today I walked into Total Wine and bought Old Rasputin imperial stout, La Fin du Monde triple, Victory Storm King stout, and Left Hand milk stout. These will not be sipped from their bottles. They will be poured lovingly into their proper glasses that pretty much only leave the cabinet for a couple of months each year.

I have realized that if I lived in Ireland I would devour everything in sight, essentially because for several months a year their weather mirrors east coast autumns precisely.

My son is a Taurus, and he's an abnormally large boy. When he hits puberty I might issue a PSA urging folks to hide their beer, food and women.

Put it this way- today I passed a large deer carcass on the roadside and mourned the loss of edible meat.

Now I have to go get that turkey out of the freezer.