I'm going to scream

And believe you me, I know how.

I'm on a cocktail of Lamictal (a mood stabilizer/anti-convulsant) and Abilify (an atypical anti-psychotic) to treat my Bipolar disorder. I'm currently getting samples because my faboo doc believes that one should never pay for meds until positive they will help. Good for her. Let's give a shout out to good old Melvania.

So today I priced my meds on the internet. I have no frigging clue what we're going to do. My Lamictal is about $100 a month. Okay, not gawdawful. Bad, but not twitch inducing bad. The Abilify is $500+ per month. Insurance will not cover either of these meds. So let's talk about the insurance companies and the pharmaceutical companies.

First, the pharm companies. I understand how much R&D goes into each drug. I also know that it's subsidized with our tax money. So we're paying twice.

Insurance. SOMEFUCKINGBODY needs to explain to me why an insurance company would rather deny preventive care when they could end up with a certified crazy person such as myself hospitalized long-term and having to pay for the costs associated with that. I shit you not, I could hurt someone. Truthfully. The disease I have is hallmarked by self-destruction and violent behavior. I've never had a full psychotic break, but that's been through the grace of everything holy. I have NOT been a compliant patient prior to the birth of my child, and many people and relationships have paid for this. Speaking of, let's also give a shout out to Xris and my husband, who have REALLY been patient with me.

I'm absolutely furious.