Monday, July 30, 2007

Tipsy Insects

It's time for more Adventures in My Back Yard.

Yesterday I went on the deck to smoke and was witness to a race war in my driveway. There was a catbird on the gravel surrounded by three Brown Thrashers. Thrashers are larger, brown versions of catbirds. Same family. Regardless, the catbird was surrounded and displaying much like a teeny ostrich. He splayed his wings out, puffed his tail, and rocked back and forth to make himself equally as large as said ostrich. The thrashers were unimpressed, and continued advancing on him. I was a split second from screaming, "Are you a bird or what??" when the catbird apparently remembered this was so and took off straight up into the air to escape. The thrashers then went about their business, which was rolling in the sand in my garden.

The next thing also happened on a cigarette trip. I was on the deck and a swallowtail butterfly landed on my recycling bin. It then hopped down and perched on a beer can and began drinking the beer from the rim of the can (no, we don't rinse first, yes we suck). He hopped from can to can draining each rim, and then he promptly flew smack into the side of the deck.

The third thing actually happened overnight. I have caladium planted in the garden. Gorgeous, full, red caladium that were a stunning set piece in the garden. Caladium that currently have no leaves because some JACKASS DEER decided to use my garden as a buffet last night. He or she also tried gnawing on my lilac tree, but it apparently didn't taste as good because there's not much missing. Either that or the JACKASS DEER filled up on the caladium first and then used the lilac as dessert. Either way, this was the first time in my life I've considered sitting on the deck with a rifle to shoot Bambi between the eyes. I think I'll turn the sprinkler on overnights from now on and douse the JACKASS DEER when he or she tries to snack.

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