Home of the moronically stupid.
I like fireworks. I like going to large firework displays where trained professionals are setting them off for the enjoyment of huge groups of celebratory people.
What I don't like is when chuckleheads drive down to South Carolina and buy bagsful of them and set them off in their backyards. These things are illegal for a reason, fucknuts. And I'm not talking about the ground types that fountain and whatnot. I'm talking about the huge, cannon types that fire into the air and zoom god knows where to possibly set fire to someone's roof.
And yes, I'm talking about the ones that make my dogs go nuts and hide under furniture, make them scratch at the door to escape, and potentially wake up my sleeping infant.
Apparently the yuckyucks in the subdivision across the street weren't that wealthy, because they only managed to shoot off three cannons last night. Those puppies run about $25 each. Some people in the subdivision down the road though, they must have won the lottery. Theirs went on for 45 minutes.
Forty FIVE minutes of my soothing my dogs, who were listening to every other dog in a 5 mile radius going ballistic. FORTY FIVE minutes of my panicking that the kid that I JUST managed to get to sleep would be woken by my wigging dogs. And FORTY FIVE minutes of my hoping that wherever those showers landed, it wouldn't be our house.
Happy Fifth of July. I sure as shit hope it's all over.