Oh dear

I am not a shopper. I hate shopping. If I could get every single thing, including groceries, online or on ebay I would.

Today I had the urge to shop.

I had to run Livvie to Kohl's because she was outgrowing all of her PJs and had only 2 pair that fit her. It is a foul thing to take your child out of the bathtub and dress her in yesterday's PJs. So this morning I threw her 2 pair in the wash and ran her to the store. They were having a huge sale on Carter's, which is the only brand that won't shrink in the dryer for some reason, so I bought her 6 pair and then 2 pair of stretch pants. My kid is going to be all purple, all the time at this point, which is good because I can't stand pink.

On my way out of the store I happened to glance over at ladies' clothing. Brown. As far as the eye could see there were fields of different shades of brown. Brown is my black. It always has been. In fact, my closet used to greatly resemble six of the clothing racks I saw today. I had Rich's debit card. I paused. I struggled mightily with myself, staring at the peasant tops and cotton pants, looking at sun dresses and long flowy garments.

And then I remembered two things:

We're broke this week

and

I don't frigging work anymore. Where the fuck would I wear these outfits? I currently live in 3 pair of camo shorts and multiple super hero tshirts.

But for a blissful moment I imagined dressing like a girl, wearing makeup, sporting strappy sandals (or "sandles" as I saw at the grocery store yesterday), and having actual jewelry on. You know, more than my rings which no matter how hard she tries the kid can't manage to get off of me.