You know what? I've been there. I worked in retail for 17 years, and I get that the job sucks. I also understand that first thing in the morning sucks. Know what else? I don't care.
I'm sorry I interrupted your conversation with the other cashiers this morning so that I could check out. I'm sorry you felt as if I was beneath your hospitality. I'm sorry you felt as if you had to be surly to a woman who had been dealing with a whining, misbehaving infant for the past 30 min while she searched high and low in the store for what she needed.
I think it's time you found another job. Really. One of the most important aspects of being a retail worker is your ability to put on a happy face and act better than Meryl Streep. Making your customers feel as if they'd just trodden in dog shit is not in your best interests. Because I got your name. Yep. Read your name tag. And the store's phone number is on the receipt...
Tuesday, July 31, 2007
Monday, July 30, 2007
Tipsy Insects
It's time for more Adventures in My Back Yard.
Yesterday I went on the deck to smoke and was witness to a race war in my driveway. There was a catbird on the gravel surrounded by three Brown Thrashers. Thrashers are larger, brown versions of catbirds. Same family. Regardless, the catbird was surrounded and displaying much like a teeny ostrich. He splayed his wings out, puffed his tail, and rocked back and forth to make himself equally as large as said ostrich. The thrashers were unimpressed, and continued advancing on him. I was a split second from screaming, "Are you a bird or what??" when the catbird apparently remembered this was so and took off straight up into the air to escape. The thrashers then went about their business, which was rolling in the sand in my garden.
The next thing also happened on a cigarette trip. I was on the deck and a swallowtail butterfly landed on my recycling bin. It then hopped down and perched on a beer can and began drinking the beer from the rim of the can (no, we don't rinse first, yes we suck). He hopped from can to can draining each rim, and then he promptly flew smack into the side of the deck.
The third thing actually happened overnight. I have caladium planted in the garden. Gorgeous, full, red caladium that were a stunning set piece in the garden. Caladium that currently have no leaves because some JACKASS DEER decided to use my garden as a buffet last night. He or she also tried gnawing on my lilac tree, but it apparently didn't taste as good because there's not much missing. Either that or the JACKASS DEER filled up on the caladium first and then used the lilac as dessert. Either way, this was the first time in my life I've considered sitting on the deck with a rifle to shoot Bambi between the eyes. I think I'll turn the sprinkler on overnights from now on and douse the JACKASS DEER when he or she tries to snack.
Yesterday I went on the deck to smoke and was witness to a race war in my driveway. There was a catbird on the gravel surrounded by three Brown Thrashers. Thrashers are larger, brown versions of catbirds. Same family. Regardless, the catbird was surrounded and displaying much like a teeny ostrich. He splayed his wings out, puffed his tail, and rocked back and forth to make himself equally as large as said ostrich. The thrashers were unimpressed, and continued advancing on him. I was a split second from screaming, "Are you a bird or what??" when the catbird apparently remembered this was so and took off straight up into the air to escape. The thrashers then went about their business, which was rolling in the sand in my garden.
The next thing also happened on a cigarette trip. I was on the deck and a swallowtail butterfly landed on my recycling bin. It then hopped down and perched on a beer can and began drinking the beer from the rim of the can (no, we don't rinse first, yes we suck). He hopped from can to can draining each rim, and then he promptly flew smack into the side of the deck.
The third thing actually happened overnight. I have caladium planted in the garden. Gorgeous, full, red caladium that were a stunning set piece in the garden. Caladium that currently have no leaves because some JACKASS DEER decided to use my garden as a buffet last night. He or she also tried gnawing on my lilac tree, but it apparently didn't taste as good because there's not much missing. Either that or the JACKASS DEER filled up on the caladium first and then used the lilac as dessert. Either way, this was the first time in my life I've considered sitting on the deck with a rifle to shoot Bambi between the eyes. I think I'll turn the sprinkler on overnights from now on and douse the JACKASS DEER when he or she tries to snack.
Sunday, July 29, 2007
A new home?
Rich has found a home on four acres in the lake area for $128k. Yes. $128k. It IS a 12 year old doublewide, but we aren't proud. Given that a lot of doublewides put our current home to shame with all of their amenities, I think if this one proves to be a gem we can happily stick "Trailer Trash" hats on our heads and call it a day.
The reason the price is so low? Duke Power has a tower on the land that the home sits on. It's putting people off. I don't think we care. It depends. We'll do a bit more research first, but we're going to drive out today just to see if this is actually a pipe dream or a dream realized.
FOUR ACRES. No traffic. Fenced in half acre of yard for the dogs to run around. HUGE outbuilding. Carport. FOUR ACRES. You can't BUY four acres of land for $128k these days. But we might be about to.
Please please please let this all work out. Let us get a loan. Let us sell this house quickly. Please let this be The Thing to do.
UPDATE---
Yeah, so this is SO not The Thing to do. We drove through EBF Wake County, which is not terrible, but then we turned on a gravel lane that was exactly wide enough for ONE vehicle at a time. Also not terrible, although my truck would never make it with the suspension problems I have. We drove and drove, sometimes close enough to people's home that we could see inside their windows. We got to the very end of the lane and there stood The Tower. Close enough to the front door of the house to be hit with a rock. It was FUGLY, and I'm assuming that having electrical pulses being sent out that close to one's home isn't a great idea. Also, the neighbors were about 100 ft from the front door of the house. Um, FOUR ACRES and you put the house right there? That was a wee bit retarded. So after being accosted by an insane country dog who tried to eat the tires on our Jeep we beat a retreat. Both of us are disappointed, but we'll keep looking.
The reason the price is so low? Duke Power has a tower on the land that the home sits on. It's putting people off. I don't think we care. It depends. We'll do a bit more research first, but we're going to drive out today just to see if this is actually a pipe dream or a dream realized.
FOUR ACRES. No traffic. Fenced in half acre of yard for the dogs to run around. HUGE outbuilding. Carport. FOUR ACRES. You can't BUY four acres of land for $128k these days. But we might be about to.
Please please please let this all work out. Let us get a loan. Let us sell this house quickly. Please let this be The Thing to do.
UPDATE---
Yeah, so this is SO not The Thing to do. We drove through EBF Wake County, which is not terrible, but then we turned on a gravel lane that was exactly wide enough for ONE vehicle at a time. Also not terrible, although my truck would never make it with the suspension problems I have. We drove and drove, sometimes close enough to people's home that we could see inside their windows. We got to the very end of the lane and there stood The Tower. Close enough to the front door of the house to be hit with a rock. It was FUGLY, and I'm assuming that having electrical pulses being sent out that close to one's home isn't a great idea. Also, the neighbors were about 100 ft from the front door of the house. Um, FOUR ACRES and you put the house right there? That was a wee bit retarded. So after being accosted by an insane country dog who tried to eat the tires on our Jeep we beat a retreat. Both of us are disappointed, but we'll keep looking.
Thursday, July 26, 2007
Koko
When I was 19 years old I got myself a kitten. She was 7 weeks old, and I got her at a yard sale. She was free to good home. I drove home with her crying in the back seat, and the very first night she punched me in the eye while I was sleeping.
She used to fit into roller skates, that's how tiny she was. My roommate and I would put her in a skate and cruise her around the hardwood floors.
When she was 9 mos old I got Clancy, another babycat, and Koko was VERY unhappy. Koko was a tortoiseshell you see, and they do NOT like other animals. I was unaware of that before I got Clancy. Now I know.
Eventually Koko and Clancy reached an accord, and lived for 15+ years together. Clancy used to torment Koko by staring at her and not touching her. You could almost hear 2 kids in the back of a car. "Mom! He's looking at me!" "So? I'm not touching you!"
Koko like canned food and water. She loved yarn. She loved curling up next to the space heaters and when I was lucky enough to have a fireplace she would camp out right in front of it.
Today I helped Koko cross from this world. She was 17 and ill, but it was one of the hardest things I've ever done. The vet, Dr Mullins, deserves a special mention, because she did a wonderful job with the actual procedure. But my babycat is gone, the last bit of my 20s is gone, and I'll never see that pissed off catface again.
She will be most assuredly missed, every day, for the rest of my days.
She used to fit into roller skates, that's how tiny she was. My roommate and I would put her in a skate and cruise her around the hardwood floors.
When she was 9 mos old I got Clancy, another babycat, and Koko was VERY unhappy. Koko was a tortoiseshell you see, and they do NOT like other animals. I was unaware of that before I got Clancy. Now I know.
Eventually Koko and Clancy reached an accord, and lived for 15+ years together. Clancy used to torment Koko by staring at her and not touching her. You could almost hear 2 kids in the back of a car. "Mom! He's looking at me!" "So? I'm not touching you!"
Koko like canned food and water. She loved yarn. She loved curling up next to the space heaters and when I was lucky enough to have a fireplace she would camp out right in front of it.
Today I helped Koko cross from this world. She was 17 and ill, but it was one of the hardest things I've ever done. The vet, Dr Mullins, deserves a special mention, because she did a wonderful job with the actual procedure. But my babycat is gone, the last bit of my 20s is gone, and I'll never see that pissed off catface again.
She will be most assuredly missed, every day, for the rest of my days.
Wednesday, July 25, 2007
Yeah, that was stupid...
Disregard the previous post.
I was an utter moron for even typing it in the first place.
As of this moment the kid has been whining and crying in her swing for 31 minutes. Yep. THIRTY ONE minutes.
She woke up early this morning so I tried to put her down early.
I won't make that mistake again.
I was an utter moron for even typing it in the first place.
As of this moment the kid has been whining and crying in her swing for 31 minutes. Yep. THIRTY ONE minutes.
She woke up early this morning so I tried to put her down early.
I won't make that mistake again.
Tuesday, July 24, 2007
The Beast Who Does Not Sleep
Is sleeping. Every day. In her swing she takes a 1030 and 230 nap. EVERY DAY.
Now if I could just get her to sleep at night...
Now if I could just get her to sleep at night...
Update on The Book
Thanks to some decent napping on the part of my child, it took me THREE days to read The Book.
And it was FABULOUS.
Go buy it. If you've read the first 6, you won't be disappointed.
And it was FABULOUS.
Go buy it. If you've read the first 6, you won't be disappointed.
Monday, July 23, 2007
Convenience or Compassion?
I was supposed to have my 17 year old cat Koko put down this morning. She has hyper-thyroid disease, is wasting away, and has been crying in pain for weeks. I attempted to treat her thyroid with pills, but they made her sick and pilling her was a nightmare. I had decided that at the age of 17 it might be better to just let her go with her dignity intact.
Only, her dignity is gone anyway. She doesn't use the litterbox other than to hide in it because the other cats sense her weakness and torture her mercilessly. She won't allow me to show her any affection, preferring to hide away in the "cat bedroom" unless it's time to eat. She's absolutely miserable. So what's my problem?
Rich had to work today and tomorrow and I couldn't figure out how on earth I was going to be able to take a baby with me to have this done. This will be a very private moment between Koko and me, and I can't imagine a screaming child in the room for it. I had to call and reschedule for Thursday when Rich will be home.
The other trouble I'm having is that Koko is crying so loudly overnight that last night she woke Livvie twice. This is where the Convenience part comes in. I'm having trouble reconciling my annoyance with that with the fact that she is truly suffering. Am I doing this for her or for me?
It pisses me off that she didn't get the chance to just lie down and go to sleep one day and not wake up. It pisses me off to be the one to make this decision for her. Is she ready? Maybe not. Am I ready? Not especially. Can I bear to watch her suffer any longer? Hell no. Do I want her to wait for a crisis situation like Clancy, my Cat of a Lifetime had to? Screw that.
All I'm really saying here is that this sucks. The big one. And I'll always second-guess myself.
Only, her dignity is gone anyway. She doesn't use the litterbox other than to hide in it because the other cats sense her weakness and torture her mercilessly. She won't allow me to show her any affection, preferring to hide away in the "cat bedroom" unless it's time to eat. She's absolutely miserable. So what's my problem?
Rich had to work today and tomorrow and I couldn't figure out how on earth I was going to be able to take a baby with me to have this done. This will be a very private moment between Koko and me, and I can't imagine a screaming child in the room for it. I had to call and reschedule for Thursday when Rich will be home.
The other trouble I'm having is that Koko is crying so loudly overnight that last night she woke Livvie twice. This is where the Convenience part comes in. I'm having trouble reconciling my annoyance with that with the fact that she is truly suffering. Am I doing this for her or for me?
It pisses me off that she didn't get the chance to just lie down and go to sleep one day and not wake up. It pisses me off to be the one to make this decision for her. Is she ready? Maybe not. Am I ready? Not especially. Can I bear to watch her suffer any longer? Hell no. Do I want her to wait for a crisis situation like Clancy, my Cat of a Lifetime had to? Screw that.
All I'm really saying here is that this sucks. The big one. And I'll always second-guess myself.
Saturday, July 21, 2007
An Exercise in Futility?
Today I am getting my hands on The Book. I'm sure you know which book I mean, and if you don't you're living under a rock. Suffice it to say that with each of the previous 6 books it has taken me less than a day to read them. For this one, I'll be lucky if it takes me a month.
Which leads to the halfassed point of this blog. If ANYONE has the nerve to tell me what happens in said book, I will cudgel them to death. And I am NOT joking.
Which leads to the halfassed point of this blog. If ANYONE has the nerve to tell me what happens in said book, I will cudgel them to death. And I am NOT joking.
Friday, July 20, 2007
The Wiggles
Yes, I'm finally going to write about the creepy, Star Trekkie outfitted Australians who entertain our children. Oh, I know not ALL of our children, but I'd say that given how much money these guys have made (about a bajillion dollars) and how many DVDs they have out, a large portion of the tot population is zoning out on them.
We have their Wiggles Show episodes DVRd. This is because I'm too cheap to buy the DVDs. Also, they seem to have a lot more music on them, whereas the DVDs have a great deal of little talking bits, interviews with people and field trips and such. My only exception might be the Wiggles Safari, because they have a large bit with Steve Irwin, and I miss him desperately.
Livvie adores the songs. Us? Not so much. Some of them aren't too bad, and the music is usually very catchy. But the LYRICS. My God. A song called Calling All Cows contains the lyric, "We've got some news in from the city. They need some milk 'cause it's white and pretty." HUH? However, unlike some children's performers these guys actually do play their own instruments. We're even on a first name basis now. I know Greg (yellow) is in charge, Jeff (purple) sleeps, Anthony (blue) eats, and Murray (red) doesn't do a whole lot of anything except look somewhat skinny and a bit freaked all of the time. Oh, he's also their guitar man. Whatever dude. You're a bit odd.
They also have animated bits where everyone is bug eyed and full of leering teeth. If you never knew teeth could leer, I'm telling you right now that they can.
We watch upwards of 6 half-hour episodes a day, sometimes more than once. Given how annoying these are, it tells you quite a bit about what it does for my child. Even when she's not paying attention to the TV their music in the background seems to keep her calm and playing happily. And for this, as much as it pains me, I will always be grateful to the Wiggles.
And scarily enough, if they ever make it to our little corner of the world I'll take Livvie to the concert. Everyone always looks like they're having a blast.
We have their Wiggles Show episodes DVRd. This is because I'm too cheap to buy the DVDs. Also, they seem to have a lot more music on them, whereas the DVDs have a great deal of little talking bits, interviews with people and field trips and such. My only exception might be the Wiggles Safari, because they have a large bit with Steve Irwin, and I miss him desperately.
Livvie adores the songs. Us? Not so much. Some of them aren't too bad, and the music is usually very catchy. But the LYRICS. My God. A song called Calling All Cows contains the lyric, "We've got some news in from the city. They need some milk 'cause it's white and pretty." HUH? However, unlike some children's performers these guys actually do play their own instruments. We're even on a first name basis now. I know Greg (yellow) is in charge, Jeff (purple) sleeps, Anthony (blue) eats, and Murray (red) doesn't do a whole lot of anything except look somewhat skinny and a bit freaked all of the time. Oh, he's also their guitar man. Whatever dude. You're a bit odd.
They also have animated bits where everyone is bug eyed and full of leering teeth. If you never knew teeth could leer, I'm telling you right now that they can.
We watch upwards of 6 half-hour episodes a day, sometimes more than once. Given how annoying these are, it tells you quite a bit about what it does for my child. Even when she's not paying attention to the TV their music in the background seems to keep her calm and playing happily. And for this, as much as it pains me, I will always be grateful to the Wiggles.
And scarily enough, if they ever make it to our little corner of the world I'll take Livvie to the concert. Everyone always looks like they're having a blast.
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
Oh dear
I am not a shopper. I hate shopping. If I could get every single thing, including groceries, online or on ebay I would.
Today I had the urge to shop.
I had to run Livvie to Kohl's because she was outgrowing all of her PJs and had only 2 pair that fit her. It is a foul thing to take your child out of the bathtub and dress her in yesterday's PJs. So this morning I threw her 2 pair in the wash and ran her to the store. They were having a huge sale on Carter's, which is the only brand that won't shrink in the dryer for some reason, so I bought her 6 pair and then 2 pair of stretch pants. My kid is going to be all purple, all the time at this point, which is good because I can't stand pink.
On my way out of the store I happened to glance over at ladies' clothing. Brown. As far as the eye could see there were fields of different shades of brown. Brown is my black. It always has been. In fact, my closet used to greatly resemble six of the clothing racks I saw today. I had Rich's debit card. I paused. I struggled mightily with myself, staring at the peasant tops and cotton pants, looking at sun dresses and long flowy garments.
And then I remembered two things:
We're broke this week
and
I don't frigging work anymore. Where the fuck would I wear these outfits? I currently live in 3 pair of camo shorts and multiple super hero tshirts.
But for a blissful moment I imagined dressing like a girl, wearing makeup, sporting strappy sandals (or "sandles" as I saw at the grocery store yesterday), and having actual jewelry on. You know, more than my rings which no matter how hard she tries the kid can't manage to get off of me.
Today I had the urge to shop.
I had to run Livvie to Kohl's because she was outgrowing all of her PJs and had only 2 pair that fit her. It is a foul thing to take your child out of the bathtub and dress her in yesterday's PJs. So this morning I threw her 2 pair in the wash and ran her to the store. They were having a huge sale on Carter's, which is the only brand that won't shrink in the dryer for some reason, so I bought her 6 pair and then 2 pair of stretch pants. My kid is going to be all purple, all the time at this point, which is good because I can't stand pink.
On my way out of the store I happened to glance over at ladies' clothing. Brown. As far as the eye could see there were fields of different shades of brown. Brown is my black. It always has been. In fact, my closet used to greatly resemble six of the clothing racks I saw today. I had Rich's debit card. I paused. I struggled mightily with myself, staring at the peasant tops and cotton pants, looking at sun dresses and long flowy garments.
And then I remembered two things:
We're broke this week
and
I don't frigging work anymore. Where the fuck would I wear these outfits? I currently live in 3 pair of camo shorts and multiple super hero tshirts.
But for a blissful moment I imagined dressing like a girl, wearing makeup, sporting strappy sandals (or "sandles" as I saw at the grocery store yesterday), and having actual jewelry on. You know, more than my rings which no matter how hard she tries the kid can't manage to get off of me.
Monday, July 16, 2007
WTF??
Yes, another post about sleeping, or lack thereof.
Livvie just will NOT sleep. She's currently in her swing, crying, whining, and generally making it known to Wake County that mommy sucks for expecting her to nap.
I also expect her to let me get some sleep at night, but that's another story.
How do you get to be a person who refuses to sleep? Imagine sleep, if you will. Imagine getting drowsy, sinking into your blankets, letting your eyes close, and then finally going to sleep. Awesome, isn't it? Now why would anyone NOT want to feel that way? Why would a kid prefer to cry and carry on and give herself a headache rather than get some rest?
Every nap is a battle. She refuses to let me rock her during the day anymore. Driving her around town sometimes works, sometimes doesn't. The only thing that is surefire most days is the swing. The swing can hold up to 30 pounds of child, so I don't know what we'll do when she grows out of it. For now though, it's saving my sanity.
So lets hear it for the Graco Lovin' Hug swing. I might end up having the damn thing bronzed.
AFTERNOON EDIT: Now she's on hour 2 of a swing nap that involved no fussing whatsoever. I'll be damned if I can figure this kid out.
Livvie just will NOT sleep. She's currently in her swing, crying, whining, and generally making it known to Wake County that mommy sucks for expecting her to nap.
I also expect her to let me get some sleep at night, but that's another story.
How do you get to be a person who refuses to sleep? Imagine sleep, if you will. Imagine getting drowsy, sinking into your blankets, letting your eyes close, and then finally going to sleep. Awesome, isn't it? Now why would anyone NOT want to feel that way? Why would a kid prefer to cry and carry on and give herself a headache rather than get some rest?
Every nap is a battle. She refuses to let me rock her during the day anymore. Driving her around town sometimes works, sometimes doesn't. The only thing that is surefire most days is the swing. The swing can hold up to 30 pounds of child, so I don't know what we'll do when she grows out of it. For now though, it's saving my sanity.
So lets hear it for the Graco Lovin' Hug swing. I might end up having the damn thing bronzed.
AFTERNOON EDIT: Now she's on hour 2 of a swing nap that involved no fussing whatsoever. I'll be damned if I can figure this kid out.
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
Brief
If you could have any job on the planet, what would it be?
And if you had that job, do you think you'd be happy?
I thought being a stay at home mom would be an amazing and fulfilling job. And it is. But the hours suck, and so do some of the benefits.
That's all for today. Feel free to tell me whatever you wanted to be when you grew up, especially if you actually became it.
And if you had that job, do you think you'd be happy?
I thought being a stay at home mom would be an amazing and fulfilling job. And it is. But the hours suck, and so do some of the benefits.
That's all for today. Feel free to tell me whatever you wanted to be when you grew up, especially if you actually became it.
Thursday, July 05, 2007
Land of the Free
Home of the moronically stupid.
I like fireworks. I like going to large firework displays where trained professionals are setting them off for the enjoyment of huge groups of celebratory people.
What I don't like is when chuckleheads drive down to South Carolina and buy bagsful of them and set them off in their backyards. These things are illegal for a reason, fucknuts. And I'm not talking about the ground types that fountain and whatnot. I'm talking about the huge, cannon types that fire into the air and zoom god knows where to possibly set fire to someone's roof.
And yes, I'm talking about the ones that make my dogs go nuts and hide under furniture, make them scratch at the door to escape, and potentially wake up my sleeping infant.
Apparently the yuckyucks in the subdivision across the street weren't that wealthy, because they only managed to shoot off three cannons last night. Those puppies run about $25 each. Some people in the subdivision down the road though, they must have won the lottery. Theirs went on for 45 minutes.
Forty FIVE minutes of my soothing my dogs, who were listening to every other dog in a 5 mile radius going ballistic. FORTY FIVE minutes of my panicking that the kid that I JUST managed to get to sleep would be woken by my wigging dogs. And FORTY FIVE minutes of my hoping that wherever those showers landed, it wouldn't be our house.
Happy Fifth of July. I sure as shit hope it's all over.
I like fireworks. I like going to large firework displays where trained professionals are setting them off for the enjoyment of huge groups of celebratory people.
What I don't like is when chuckleheads drive down to South Carolina and buy bagsful of them and set them off in their backyards. These things are illegal for a reason, fucknuts. And I'm not talking about the ground types that fountain and whatnot. I'm talking about the huge, cannon types that fire into the air and zoom god knows where to possibly set fire to someone's roof.
And yes, I'm talking about the ones that make my dogs go nuts and hide under furniture, make them scratch at the door to escape, and potentially wake up my sleeping infant.
Apparently the yuckyucks in the subdivision across the street weren't that wealthy, because they only managed to shoot off three cannons last night. Those puppies run about $25 each. Some people in the subdivision down the road though, they must have won the lottery. Theirs went on for 45 minutes.
Forty FIVE minutes of my soothing my dogs, who were listening to every other dog in a 5 mile radius going ballistic. FORTY FIVE minutes of my panicking that the kid that I JUST managed to get to sleep would be woken by my wigging dogs. And FORTY FIVE minutes of my hoping that wherever those showers landed, it wouldn't be our house.
Happy Fifth of July. I sure as shit hope it's all over.
Thursday, June 28, 2007
I'm tired
Tired of everything being the same all of the time. Tired of never getting to do anything I "used" to do, like reading a book.
Today I am tired of being a mom.
You know, this little nugget of an essay is awesome: http://jennyquarx.livejournal.com/#asset-jennyquarx-16989
And it's all true. There's nothing like being a mom. It's the greatest joy and responsibility a person can be given. But some days it's downright exhausting. And when those days run into each other, end on end, week after week, well...
Yesterday the kid gave me a break. It's like they know when they're about to cross a line and they back off a bit. I couldn't have asked for a better child the first part of yesterday. By the second half though, we were back to the realm of nightmares. Screaming, not sleeping, inconsolable. The child that's referred to as "high need."
Well you know what? I'm high need too. I have many, many needs that aren't being met. Sleep, cleanliness, food, exercise...
I'd give anything to be able to brush my teeth without her attempting to follow me into the bathroom. Hell, I'd give anything to be able to PEE without her following me into the bathroom. Even when Rich is home she's following me around everywhere; screaming when I'm out of sight. As I type this she's standing with one hand on my knee as if she's claiming a seat.
The only way I keep myself going is to tell myself that when all is said and done, as the years pass, I'm very likely to have a wonderful, sensitive child. But right now, I'm damned tired.
Today I am tired of being a mom.
You know, this little nugget of an essay is awesome: http://jennyquarx.livejournal.com/#asset-jennyquarx-16989
And it's all true. There's nothing like being a mom. It's the greatest joy and responsibility a person can be given. But some days it's downright exhausting. And when those days run into each other, end on end, week after week, well...
Yesterday the kid gave me a break. It's like they know when they're about to cross a line and they back off a bit. I couldn't have asked for a better child the first part of yesterday. By the second half though, we were back to the realm of nightmares. Screaming, not sleeping, inconsolable. The child that's referred to as "high need."
Well you know what? I'm high need too. I have many, many needs that aren't being met. Sleep, cleanliness, food, exercise...
I'd give anything to be able to brush my teeth without her attempting to follow me into the bathroom. Hell, I'd give anything to be able to PEE without her following me into the bathroom. Even when Rich is home she's following me around everywhere; screaming when I'm out of sight. As I type this she's standing with one hand on my knee as if she's claiming a seat.
The only way I keep myself going is to tell myself that when all is said and done, as the years pass, I'm very likely to have a wonderful, sensitive child. But right now, I'm damned tired.
Wednesday, June 27, 2007
Animal Farm
There's something inherently creepy about large numbers of animals gathered together. And I'm not talking about herd animals, because that's expected. I'm talking about animals that you normally see solitary, suddenly grouped together looking like they're having a conference.
At the beginning of spring Xris and I happened to look out her living room window to see literally HUNDREDS of robins gathered in her yard poking around in the dirt for bugs. I looked it up online and apparently we were privy to a very rare sighting, a leg of the robin migratory path. While it was cool, it also had a Hitchcock element to it that we could have lived without.
Before we sold the pool we had a frog problem. There were about 6 small frogs gathered on the sides of the pool, staring at us, and while that might not sound like a problem, the fact that one or all of them had laid hundreds of eggs in the pool water was in fact a large problem. The fact that my big, strong husband wouldn't catch the frogs bare handed and let me do it instead was a smaller problem, because it was at least humorous.
And this morning I got up and went outside to smoke, turned the corner of the house and found 3 rabbits in the back area where the pool was, all staring at each other, and while rabbits might not typically be thought creepy, several communing together was kind of disturbing. They eventually hopped off in different directions, and I assume it was to gather their respective pieces of the Acme Dog Destroyer. Or maybe one was calling in the order.
So I'm pretty certain we had all better look out. Even animals that normally don't "play well with others" can band together to complete a common goal, and before you tell me that rabbits are in fact social animals, let me ask you a question....
When was the last time YOU actually saw more than one wild rabbit in your yard, standing less than 3 feet apart, facing each other?
At the beginning of spring Xris and I happened to look out her living room window to see literally HUNDREDS of robins gathered in her yard poking around in the dirt for bugs. I looked it up online and apparently we were privy to a very rare sighting, a leg of the robin migratory path. While it was cool, it also had a Hitchcock element to it that we could have lived without.
Before we sold the pool we had a frog problem. There were about 6 small frogs gathered on the sides of the pool, staring at us, and while that might not sound like a problem, the fact that one or all of them had laid hundreds of eggs in the pool water was in fact a large problem. The fact that my big, strong husband wouldn't catch the frogs bare handed and let me do it instead was a smaller problem, because it was at least humorous.
And this morning I got up and went outside to smoke, turned the corner of the house and found 3 rabbits in the back area where the pool was, all staring at each other, and while rabbits might not typically be thought creepy, several communing together was kind of disturbing. They eventually hopped off in different directions, and I assume it was to gather their respective pieces of the Acme Dog Destroyer. Or maybe one was calling in the order.
So I'm pretty certain we had all better look out. Even animals that normally don't "play well with others" can band together to complete a common goal, and before you tell me that rabbits are in fact social animals, let me ask you a question....
When was the last time YOU actually saw more than one wild rabbit in your yard, standing less than 3 feet apart, facing each other?
Tuesday, June 26, 2007
Nagging?
I'm trying to figure out why every man I have ever known has told me that they can't remember to do something unless they're reminded to do so, and yet women are categorically referred to as "naggers."
I don't know how many of you out there have had this experience, but Rich and I have had to work out a system where I need to remind him weekly that I need time to clean the litter boxes or he simply doesn't remember to offer me that time.
I also have to remind him to watch the baby to give me time to take a shower, make dinner, take out the trash, etc.
Now, I understand that it wouldn't occur to him normally to say, "Hey honey, why don't you go take a shower and I'll watch the baby," although he has done that a few times after I've reminded him throughout the day that I need a shower. And while he has only rarely snapped at me that "he knows" when I tell him something needs doing, he has never called me a nag. So I appreciate that in him.
What I don't understand is that I have polled some guys and most of them have replied that they in fact won't simply remember something unless reminded. So why are we called nags at all?
I have a feeling the answer lies with the fact that men (and all people) can have a tendency to project their feelings onto others. I might be wrong, and if so, feel free to remind me of that or I'll never remember.
I don't know how many of you out there have had this experience, but Rich and I have had to work out a system where I need to remind him weekly that I need time to clean the litter boxes or he simply doesn't remember to offer me that time.
I also have to remind him to watch the baby to give me time to take a shower, make dinner, take out the trash, etc.
Now, I understand that it wouldn't occur to him normally to say, "Hey honey, why don't you go take a shower and I'll watch the baby," although he has done that a few times after I've reminded him throughout the day that I need a shower. And while he has only rarely snapped at me that "he knows" when I tell him something needs doing, he has never called me a nag. So I appreciate that in him.
What I don't understand is that I have polled some guys and most of them have replied that they in fact won't simply remember something unless reminded. So why are we called nags at all?
I have a feeling the answer lies with the fact that men (and all people) can have a tendency to project their feelings onto others. I might be wrong, and if so, feel free to remind me of that or I'll never remember.
Sunday, June 24, 2007
Husbands
Yeah, husbands.
Last night I asked Rich if I could take a short nap. He said sure, and I went in to lie down. It took awhile to get to sleep, and I didn't sleep more than an hour. While I was in the bedroom Rich:
Vacuumed.
Cleaned the stove while holding the baby in one arm
Took the dogs out
Played with Livvie
Fed Livvie mashed bananas
Gave Livvie a bottle
Rocked Livvie to sleep
Put Livvie to bed
Now. That was alllllll awesome. I appreciated it so much.
What I want to know is why he can't do more than one of these things in a day usually. I did thank him rather than ask him that question, but honestly....
Last night I asked Rich if I could take a short nap. He said sure, and I went in to lie down. It took awhile to get to sleep, and I didn't sleep more than an hour. While I was in the bedroom Rich:
Vacuumed.
Cleaned the stove while holding the baby in one arm
Took the dogs out
Played with Livvie
Fed Livvie mashed bananas
Gave Livvie a bottle
Rocked Livvie to sleep
Put Livvie to bed
Now. That was alllllll awesome. I appreciated it so much.
What I want to know is why he can't do more than one of these things in a day usually. I did thank him rather than ask him that question, but honestly....
Saturday, June 23, 2007
We sold the pool!
And I've got $100 in my pocket.
The child in me wants to spend it on Angel, Seasons 2-4.
The adult in me is taking it to Home Depot to buy plants and shrubs.
Being an adult can suck, but I guess plants and shrubs are sort of unnecessary...
The child in me wants to spend it on Angel, Seasons 2-4.
The adult in me is taking it to Home Depot to buy plants and shrubs.
Being an adult can suck, but I guess plants and shrubs are sort of unnecessary...
Thursday, June 14, 2007
Near Death Experiences
So Rich nearly died on Monday. He was pulling up to our driveway and about to make a left and a woman behind him doing at least 70, talking on her phone, never saw him until she was about to slam into him. He saw her coming and gunned all 8 cylinders, zooming forward, and she tried to pass him on the left where there was an oncoming car. She zipped back behind Rich somehow, gave him the finger, and he ended up pulling over to her in a subdivision to go up one side of her and down the other.
So now we're looking for a new house. Xris and I were hit making the left into the driveway several months ago, and two incidents in less than a year is a little more than Rich and I can handle.
And now every time I go to make a turn into the driveway I panic a bit if there's a car behind me. Awesome.
So now we're looking for a new house. Xris and I were hit making the left into the driveway several months ago, and two incidents in less than a year is a little more than Rich and I can handle.
And now every time I go to make a turn into the driveway I panic a bit if there's a car behind me. Awesome.
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