Thursday, July 10, 2008

Disclaimer

My BFF has challenged me to come up with a list of disclaimers about myself. So here it goes.

I use the C word a lot. You know, the one that rhymes with "punt?" That's the one. I use it descriptively, as in "You stupid C! Get your ass off the road and put down that F'ing cell phone!"

I also use the F word a lot.

I'm completely OCD. Not as bad as Monk, but I have my issues. I count everything. I count how many times I shake Livvie's formula bottles (2 sets of 20), I count how many seconds it takes my dogs to pee (Ginny averages 8. Emma averages 12). I have a specific order in which I select my eggs out of the carton. Oh, and I absolutely, positively cannot stand paper on the floor. If this drives you nuts, you shouldn't hang around me. BFF has learned to make use of it for her own nefarious purposes.

I'm not well schooled but I'm exceptionally intelligent and have an insane memory for the ridiculous. I can play along with Cash Cab on the Discovery channel, and during one episode I "won" about $1500. The information I spewed out at the television was worthless for anything but a game show, but it was there. Don't challenge me to Trivial Pursuit. Especially the History section. I'll beat your ass. I also have the ability to rack up the funds watching Jeopardy. Oh, and Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader. Turns out I am.

I'm closed minded when it comes to a lot of things, which is something I'm working on. I have specific opinions that are hard to get rid of, and usually there are no shades of gray. If THIS bothers you, you are more than welcome to call me on it. Generally the only way I can change my opinion is for someone to give me a well thought out argument and make their case in an intelligent fashion. It CAN happen. But rarely do most people even try. They just label me stubborn and move on. Pity.

If I'm reading anything, anything at all, I'll tune out everything else, including any conversation someone is attempting to have with me. I can read the back of a cereal box and not hear a word you're saying. My mom used to go crazy over this. This is not something I've been able to change. Live with it.

I feel that hanging out with The Kid is far more important than house work. Hence I don't truly clean unless Rich is home and can occupy her time. If you stop by unannounced you will likely see tumbleweeds of dog hair blowing across the kitchen floor and notice that I couldn't even be bothered with hanging the toilet paper on the wall. You'll also see piles of paperwork on the kitchen table and notice that I haven't wiped down the counter yet. 

Oh, and don't stop by unannounced. I'll be stony and practically silent the entire time. I might not even answer the door.

I am exceptionally grumpy prior to my morning cup of coffee, so if you attempt to engage me in conversation in any way you'll likely get short, curt answers that might hurt your feelings. Don't take it personally. It has nothing to do with you. If you manage to catch me after said cup of coffee you'll find a much more pleasant person. Try to contact me after 8am.

I'm fiercely attached to my friends, but I don't have any casual friends. That makes no sense to me. I know that people have them and get a lot out of them, such as camaraderie and fun times out, but I'd rather stay at home unless there's an opportunity to go out with BFF. I talk to Jmac almost every day on the phone or via IM. I IM with Nina every day. If either of them appeared at my door (after calling first of course), I'd hang out with them in a heartbeat. If people I used to work with wanted to go out, I'd be tempted to not go. It's just how I roll.

Although I HAVE made friends at work, I don't go to work to make friends. This has bothered many coworkers who would attempt to engage me in their personal dramas and get me to become involved with their lives. I just don't care. I couldn't tell you what most of their boyfriends names were. I couldn't tell you what their college majors were. I couldn't even tell you if their parents were still together or even alive. I just didn't care.

That's about it for now. Consider all of you tagged to do the same. :)

Have a great Thursday everyone.

3 comments:

Annie said...

In some ways we are a lot alike and in some not so much. I also am a bit obsessive/compulsive, but I think you would win if we had a contest :-). I also HATE it when
people drop in, the only one that can get away with it is my best friend Jim.

Em said...

haha.. tumbleweeds of dog hair...

shelbel said...

I love you.

I just went through that list going..."ditto. ditto. ditto."

Think we were seperated at birth?