Wednesday, August 06, 2008

This Night of No Sleep Brought to You by The Letter H and the Number 13

At least that was going through my head.

Everything I thought of had the letter H somewhere. I then started counting to 13 over and over to try to put myself to sleep. No dice.

The fact that I noticed the letter H all over the place disturbed me, but what can you do...

That's right folks, I'm still not sleeping. The night before last I woke up at 1am and never got back to sleep. last night it was 2am. This isn't good because of two things:

A) I have to force myself to function the next morning. Granted, today I got a bunch of chores done, but in order to do so I left the majority of entertaining Livvie up to Rich.

B) This can lead to psychosis. I believe we've discussed that before.

I'm currently on 35 mg of Abilify (have you SEEN those commercials? The chick is supposed to be manic and she's calmly wandering the beach. Sorry, but manic people can't calmly do anything) and I don't know if it's going to be enough. I have a headologist appointment on the 19th, and I'm hoping I can make it that long without calling her (BTW, thank Terry Pratchett for the term "headologist." And pray for him because he has early onset alzheimers).

I'm done with parentheses for now.

In reading this back over, and realizing that I bought not one but THREE Harry Potter DVDs the other day with money I don't have, I'm coming to the conclusion that I'm already manic. That would explain the day today. Dishwasher, Laundry, Fold Laundry, Empty Dishwasher, Do More Laundry, Empty the Fridge, Bathe the Dog...

And I'm only done for the day because I'm forcing myself to be done.

I should vacuum. I know I should. But I need to relax, even though it's hard. I've been trying to have 3 IM conversations today, and I'm constantly flitting away from each of them. I just have too much to do...

So as the day goes on I get more and more energy until I have so much that I can't sleep overnight. I AM very tired, but not in the sleepy kind of way. More in the way of my body wants to lie down and give up. My brain is fine. Better than fine. My brain wants me to go.

I think I might need the Seroquel. This will guarantee that I'll gain back the 10 pounds I lost and will make damn well and sure that I'll be eating ice cream every night before bed. Is that ok? Is unhealthy and level better than healthy and dangerous? I'm thinking it is. I'm thinking tonight I take the Seroquel. And on the 19th I'll ask for more.



4 comments:

Cyn said...

What sort of "H" things did you think of? Did you watch Sesame Street yesterday?

Em said...

Yes, level and healthy...oh wait unhealthy and level is better than... unlevel and... I'm so confused... but yea take the meds you need and don't worry about the ice cream!

Annie said...

Forget the weight gain-you need the meds. Big hug. Also, the sugar in the ice cream will keep you awake...

jennyquarx said...

Take the seroquel. And ask for an alternative on the 19th. There is new pharmaceutical crap every day. I go the 18th so I'll give you the fyi on my alternative to seroquel.