Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Too Bad

Well, I had a headologist appointment today at 230, which I canceled yesterday because I have no vehicle. That's right, we still don't have our car. It was due to arrive on the 12th, got pushed back to the 18th, and now is pushed back to the 21st. Rock on.

The suckass part of all of this is that they never intended to let us know. We've had to call them ourselves for any information.

So, the good thing is that the last time I was there she wrote a scrip for me for two of my drugs, which has been sitting in my wallet ever since. Today after Rich gets home I have to drive the scrip up to the pharmacy and then go pick it up tomorrow. I only need one of them currently, so they can keep the other one on file.

Frankly, I'm not too sussed about not going today. Personally, I can't afford it. My visits are now up to $100 for a 15 min appointment, and that just plain sucks. I don't know what I'm going to do about that. I think I'll have to inform her that I can no longer do every 2-3 months, and that we'll have to switch to 6 months. I just don't have the funds.

I'm sure she can write scrips for 6 months. I don't know why she wouldn't be able to. I feel as well like I'm wasting my time there. She asks me how I'm doing, I say fine, and then she hands me a new scrip. 15 min. $100. It's insane.

I AM a tiny bit manic lately, but nothing too bad. It's due to lack of sleep I'm sure, because while I'm sleeping better, I certainly am not sleeping enough. I'm waking up at 5am for good after a night of tossing and turning (and apparently snoring last night. Rich made me wake up and roll over). I have the urge to spend a lot of money, but I'm controlling myself with the help of the 35 mg of Abilify. I had to stop taking the emergency Seroquel because my eyes were bugging out and crossing, and that was the only change in my life. Since I've stopped, they've stopped. So I guess no more Seroquel for me.

I'm so tired lately without having my Coke Zeroes as well. This leads to me going to bed at 830-9 o clock, and while I eventually get to sleep, sometimes I just lie there until 10. Yesterday I drank a cup of coffee at 2pm, which was a bad idea, because I think I was up until 11 last night. This isn't good for me at all.

I'm supposed to be on 300 mg of Lamictal, but I only take 200 mg in order to stretch my pills and save money. It seems to work, there hasn't even been any low level depression, so I don't know why she upped me to 300 in the first place.

I AM taking clonazepam every night in order to get to sleep, and it works. I just wish it would keep me asleep.

Have I mentioned that being BiPolar sucks? It really does.

Have a great Tuesday everyone.


Annie said...

((Hugs)). The whole 100 for a script thing sounds like a scam to me.

Karen said...

OOoh... you are exactly what I need... a grown up who is bipolar!
We need to talk!
My daughter is ... and I have been wondering what its going to be like ... she is 13 now and I am thus far NOT ENJOYING THIS SHIT! Pardon my french.
And we have the same deal... 15 minutes... here is the script. We are allowed to go 6 months! (but h ave to call every month to get her Focalin for adhd.. which is a sincere pain in the rear.)

Tell me more.. when did you find out you were Bipolar? Hows it been besides sucky, for everyone else? Im so worried it will be hard for her to find someone who loves her... you seem to have done fine!!!

Julie said...


I was diagnosed when I was 26, after an episode of depression where they put me on Prozac and it tipped me into full blown mania. It sucked.

In retrospect I had been Bipolar my whole life, at least since I hit my teens. My dad was undiagnosed, and he was miserable. His twin sister WAS diagnosed and back then they didn't know what to do with her so she spent most of her life in a psych ward.

Being Bipolar ruined every relationship I ever had, up until this marriage. I had stopped taking my meds in 2001 because I felt so good I decided I didn't need them. Bad idea. In 2007 in the spring I almost had a psychotic break, and I got my ass to the headologist as quickly as I could. I had been on Depakote before, but it made me fat and made my hair fall out so I didn't want to be on it again. It also gave me tremors. This shrink put me on Abilify for mania and Lamictal for depression, and it seems to be working great.

Hubby and I haven't had a fight since my meds started working. We used to fight all of the time. I was seriously thinking we would end in divorce.

If you have any other questions, let me know. I know I've left things out.

Julie said...

Oh, and Karen- click on the word MEDS at the bottom of this post and it'll show you most of my blog entries about being bipolar.

Cyn said...

Try not to skimp on the meds. The last time I did that, bad things happened. Definitely tell your doc you do not have the funds and are stretching the meds now. Maybe she can get you some free samples or work something out. As doctors go, they charge a lot for unnecessary time. I had a headologist insist I NEEDED and MRI. Once I told her my insurance did not cover it and I had no money, she decided it could wait. I asked her what it would solve and the answer was "Nothing it is standard procedure". At $2,500 a pop I would like to know something more than standard procedure. When my insurance did cover it I learned absolutely nothing from that test.

jennyquarx said...

Take the 300 now that it's generic, trust me. I'd been stretching mine by taking 200 too and I feel WAYYYYYYYYYYY better since I am taking my actual dose.

Karen, I'm sorry you are dealing with this. I was dxed at 30 after being dxed with major depression at 15. They had it WAY wrong. Had I been diagnosed at your daughter's age, I think my life would have been on track much earlier. I have a lot of confidence that she is going to be fine. Find a good psychiatrist, find a good therapist who can help her with coping strategies (bipolars have notoriously bad ones) and make them find the right cocktail of meds for her. It can take awhile but there are so many meds that can help now and they do need to be tweaked a lot.

On the antidepressants I spent lots of money, drank too much, did many reckless things, also ruined relationships. Since I have been properly diagnosed (I am 36 now) things are better and I think I pretty much function like a normal person for the most part. I have been married for almost 9 years, together for 11 and he loved me before things were okay.

I think you and your daughter have a rough road ahead but I am betting that by high school things are going to be much better. I wish you could talk to my mom. I'm sure she feels your pain. We all made it through and you will too. Big giant hugs.