Fuckingboat

Fuckingboat came into our lives in October of 2005. We had just gotten married, and Rich went down to the marina just to look around. He found this giant boat that needed a TON of work for $1500 including the trailer. So he came and got me, and I agreed that the boat was quite cool. He offered them $1000 and she was ours. Luckily we had received $1200 for our wedding just a few days prior.

Rich began working on her after he got home from work nights. Everything needed overhauling, and I helped as much as I could but it basically became a one man job. We ordered new vinyl to cover the ceiling and walls, and that racked up the bill a bit. The tabletop needed replacing (yes there's a table in it. With a sink.) and that racked up even more funds. I'd estimate that on our practically free boat we ended up spending about $3000. Everything needed repair or replacing. EVERYTHING. And the toilet ended up in the trash, because um, ew.

This isn't to say that it's not worth it per se, because it gave Rich a project to work on and he's one of those dudes who simply can't sit still. So there were many trips to Home Depot and Boaters World, many online orders for small parts, etc... I just stayed in the house and let him do his thing. It was fine. Until...

Livvie was born. I'd say within 3 months of her being born he was back out on Fuckingboat almost every single night for some amount of time. It got very frustrating to me because he could leave the crying and carrying on and I couldn't. I had a garden going to bleh out in the yard, which desperately needed some care and wasn't getting any. Fuckingboat was receiving top of the line treatment. He built lights for the roof of her, he bought her new cushions. He was babying that thing with enough TLC to make you want to barf. And um, it wasn't fair. That's when she became Fuckingboat. All one word. I started to hate it.

Rich decided last fall that we needed to sell Fuckingboat to help pay off some bills. He was going to offer her for about $7500 because of the amount of work and time that went into getting it in shape. And let me tell you, he did do a GREAT job. She's beautiful. However, people don't buy boats in the fall/winter, and they especially don't buy boats when the drought is so bad that there's barely any water in the lake. Especially when the boat is as big as this one. So she sat in our driveway. And Rich began to invent smaller projects to work on her. The price dropped to $5500.

We have had five people come to look at her since the winter. Everyone loves her. No one wants her because she's too big for them to handle. Honestly this thing reminds me of the SS Minnow. The last guy came out on Sunday night and said that he'd be back with his wife. Haven't heard a peep out of them yet. It's becoming quite sad. We don't desperately need the money, but it would be nice to have. I just know that after all of this I want her out of the driveway and on someone else's back. She's driving me nuts.

Here's the thing though. If Fuckingboat sells Rich will be finding another cheap "project" boat to work on. I guess that's fine, now that Livvie is older and generally hangs out and plays, but I want equal time. If he's going to be out there in the evenings he needs to let me get into the garden some weekends. It's only fair, right?