Today

Will likely be a 2 post day. Today I have my appointment with Headologist #2, the Talk Therapist. I'm thinking of breaking a limb in the next 30 minutes so I don't have to go. I completely forgot to take a clonazepam last night and drank wine instead. Wine doesn't make for less anxiety. I do NOT wanna go.

Oddly, at my last appointment with Headologist #1, she told me to go get a book, because #2 likes to use it with her patients. If you'll remember I made fun of the book when I mentioned it last. I absolutely refused to spend money on it and put it on my Paperback Swap wish list. I got up this morning to an email saying the book is now mine, and that I should click to claim it. I clicked. So now within a couple of weeks I'll have the book and be able to read about Other People and how they Cope. Very strange to me that this happened this morning.

If you'll also remember, I have to take Livvie with me this morning. So on top of the anxiety about opening my maw to a stranger I also have the added loveliness of having to drive Livvie somewhere by myself. And I guarantee it isn't going to be fixed by the end of my visit with her. The clonazepam did not work for anxiety, but it did knock my punk ass down. I guess I can't be anxious if I'm snoring in a corner. I'm asking for something else today. I don't really like the clonazepam hangover anyway. 

Maybe I'll get lucky. Maybe Livvie will sleep until 9 and I won't be able to make the appointment after all. Maybe the Jeep will finally not start IN THE DRIVEWAY instead of at the pharmacy or grocery store. Maybe they'll call and tell me that Something Has Come Up, and #2 won't be able to make it.

I don't wanna go.