Sunday, February 24, 2008

Meds, The Ultimate Reminder

Thank God that I take daily meds. I'll tell you why. I would NEVER miss a day of my meds. Ok, I did once months ago, and that led me to taking them in the mornings, and that made things Much Better. What rocks about taking daily meds is that it reminds me to also take my birth control pill. And that is important.

I had a pregnancy scare last month, and when I say scare I don't mean that it was accepted that I might be preggo. It was absolutely terrifying. I wasn't on the pill at the time, and that led to the potential of being pregnant. Not good. It was excruciating to wait for AF, and I ended up using 5 tests just so I could see the blessed "negative" come up. Negative. For me one of the best things in the world.

Because you see, I have a kid, and I really don't want more. In this day of 3 being the new 2, the thought of having more than one is almost abominable to me. First of all, this one is a handful. She's been a handful since the day she was born, and I really don't see that changing as she grows up. Second of all, I really DID NOT like pregnancy. I know of women who absolutely loved being pregnant and enjoyed every minute of it, even the morning sickness, because they were carrying new life inside them. Well, I appreciated the fact that I was carrying new life, but not enough to enjoy the barfing, the joint pain, the constant contractions from week 36 until week 41. It was just awful for me, and the only part I enjoyed was the epidural. 

Everyone says that if I were to have another one everything could be different. The pregnancy itself, the temperament of the child, all of that. I am not willing to take that chance. I'm happy with my one, I don't honestly feel guilty that she'll never enjoy a sibling, and I also can't imagine growing my heart 2 sizes to include more than one. I'm a selfish person from the get go.

So thank heavens for daily meds reminding me to take my Pill. Even though I don't trust it. Maybe I should stock up on more tests after all. Gotta love "negative."


Jennifer said...

I am hoping that you don't get any more scares.


LizB said...

It could definitely be different the second time; it could be worse! You know your body and yourself -- here's to fearless living in the moment.

Nina said...

Secretly I hope you have another baby because I am so enjoying the one you have and while I care about your needs, it would be really great for ME if you had another. So get to breedin' , ok?


Cyn said...

Nothing wrong with having one kid. Besides you have the other animals so is she really an only child? Hardly.

sara said...

i totally know how you feel. after ozzie was born, i knew i wanted another. but after zoe was born, i knew we were done. we were a family. there was no empty space, no shadow of a person not yet there. i would never have a 3rd (i had a pg scare too, on this IUD. my OBGYN even wanred me not to think i was pg, it couldn't happen. god bless EPT's) i was panicked about the idea. i knew "it" wouldn't be right, to have a 3rd kid. there's no *Space* in our family. so i totally get that there's no *Space* in your family for 2 kids. you are done. you are complete.