It's ironic that I named my blog Are You Gonna Eat That. I named it back when I could eat, and eat I did. My BFF used to take me out for cheeseburgers and laugh her ass off at how fast I could finish my food. Waiters would come over and attempt to take my plate away and I would practically smack their hands away from it.I started eating like a horse in Junior High School. My mom would pack me a lunch, and I would often buy a lunch as well. Then I would scan the table for things not being eaten and ask, "Are you gonna eat that? Can I have it?" and most often received it.
I would also get two lunches in High School. The lunches there weren't nearly as tasty as the ones in Junior High, but whatever looked somewhat appetizing was fine with me. When I was old enough to drive some of my friends and I would skip Study Hall and go to Taco Bell because it was the only place not serving breakfast at 10am. I would eat that, and then eat my lunch at noon.
I was a skinny kid in my youth, too skinny, and had the metabolism of a humming bird. It sucked. I tried everything to gain weight, including protein shakes mixed with raw eggs. Nothing helped. No one could figure out where I was putting the food.
Something changed in the last year. I've never been a breakfast eater, but now I can barely stand lunch. For breakfast I'll eat a small yogurt, and then lunch might not even happen at all. By dinner time I'm starving, and I'll actually eat a meal, and I try to stuff myself to make up for the rest of the day. Stuffing myself doesn't consist of much though, and by 9pm I'm hungry again. It more than a little sucks.
The only time I can actually eat like a savage is if I go out to eat. BFF and I went out for lunch on Sunday and I ate 16 hot wings and almost all of the veggie sticks. There were several of them. I was still hungry after I had eaten, and almost asked them to bring me an order of fries. I refrained from picking food off of BFF's plate, although I did eat her pickle, but I just don't understand.
The only thing I can think of is that I'm so sick of cooking that when I do I don't want to eat it. I could honestly live on takeout, but obviously that's not affordable.
I want to eat like a horse again. Weight gain or no, I want to be able to enjoy food.
4 comments:
yeah, that totally sucks that you don't really enjoy it anymore.
i hope that whatever is causing this new found inability to eat goes away soon!!!!!
xoxoxooxox
Perhpas you are just sick of your cooking, like you said. You are lucky you can eat like a fend though, I have never been able to eat like that as I would weigh 300 pounds by now if I did :-(.
I forgot to eat dinner last night until it was time to go to bed. So I had some cheesecake at quarter to 11. By my standards, you are eating healthy. Maybe you are filling up with drinking your calories?
I can understand wanting to be able to enjoy food. It is one of life's greatest pleasures. I hope you'll get it back!
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