Food

It's ironic that I named my blog Are You Gonna Eat That. I named it back when I could eat, and eat I did. My BFF used to take me out for cheeseburgers and laugh her ass off at how fast I could finish my food. Waiters would come over and attempt to take my plate away and I would practically smack their hands away from it.

I started eating like a horse in Junior High School. My mom would pack me a lunch, and I would often buy a lunch as well. Then I would scan the table for things not being eaten and ask, "Are you gonna eat that? Can I have it?" and most often received it.

I would also get two lunches in High School. The lunches there weren't nearly as tasty as the ones in Junior High, but whatever looked somewhat appetizing was fine with me. When I was old enough to drive some of my friends and I would skip Study Hall and go to Taco Bell because it was the only place not serving breakfast at 10am. I would eat that, and then eat my lunch at noon.

I was a skinny kid in my youth, too skinny, and had the metabolism of a humming bird. It sucked. I tried everything to gain weight, including protein shakes mixed with raw eggs. Nothing helped. No one could figure out where I was putting the food.

Something changed in the last year. I've never been a breakfast eater, but now I can barely stand lunch. For breakfast I'll eat a small yogurt, and then lunch might not even happen at all. By dinner time I'm starving, and I'll actually eat a meal, and I try to stuff myself to make up for the rest of the day. Stuffing myself doesn't consist of much though, and by 9pm I'm hungry again. It more than a little sucks.

The only time I can actually eat like a savage is if I go out to eat. BFF and I went out for lunch on Sunday and I ate 16 hot wings and almost all of the veggie sticks. There were several of them. I was still hungry after I had eaten, and almost asked them to bring me an order of fries. I refrained from picking food off of BFF's plate, although I did eat her pickle, but I just don't understand.

The only thing I can think of is that I'm so sick of cooking that when I do I don't want to eat it. I could honestly live on takeout, but obviously that's not affordable. 

I want to eat like a horse again. Weight gain or no, I want to be able to enjoy food.

Morning Beauty

I did not take this photo, but it's not for lack of trying.

This morning I got up in the darkened house when Livvie woke up at 644. I got her out of her crib and carried her into the living room where I put her down. The first thing she did, as always, was to go over to the windows and put her hand on the blinds asking me to open them.

I started turning the rod and to my surprise there was a giant head not 2 1/2 feet away from my face. I finished opening the blinds, both of them, and revealed to me were three does standing in my front yard while the traffic whizzed by in the background. 

A person knows that a deer is a large animal, but one doesn't really "get" it until a deer is that close. They're massive. I could never understand how their tiny legs could hold up a couple of thousand pounds, and now that I've been this close I still don't get it. 

I grabbed my camera and ran to the kitchen door and opened it and stepped out. When I peeked over the deck railing two of the deer were playing, bouncing back and forth at each other, play bowing like dogs, simply having a blast. Somehow I gave myself away, because they immediately stopped and started to make a run for the back yard. The third deer continued to stand over by the cedar tree, and I aimed my camera and hit the zoom button. That's when one of the other deer came back and apparently somehow communicated that there was "danger" nearby, and they all took off into the back yard where they ran into the woods.

There are times when beauty happens and you don't get to share it. It's somewhat disappointing, but at the same time it leaves you with a selfish feeling of ownership, as if the moment was only yours. I guess this will have to have been my moment, because as much as I wanted to share it with you all, all I can offer are words.

Have a great Tuesday. Try to find some beauty in it.

Internet Love

Back in the fall of 2004 I had been dumped by my ex-boyfriend for 4 months. I wasn't all that interested in dating again any time soon because I was relishing my single status. However, my friend Cyn dared me to post my profile on Match.com because she figured it would be fun. So I did.

It was hard to write a profile for myself so I made it fairly goofy. I figured that it would be sure to keep guys away. I was wrong. I had 4 guys interested within a few days. I emailed with some of them, and they were nice enough, but there didn't seem to be anything meaningful there.

Then I got an email that made me pause. It was from Rich. He said he owned a little bait shop here, and that he had left the tech world to do it. He had a colony of feral cats there that he cared for, and he seemed very nice. We emailed a few times, and then we started IMing. He seemed like someone I wanted to know better.

We made a date to take a walk shortly after, and we had a very good time. I remember that when I met him at the park he got out of his truck and started walking toward me and he had the coolest walk ever. He was also chewing a piece of gum. He chews a lot of gum.

After our walk we started dating, which lasted all of 2 weeks. That's because I basically moved in with him at that point. I don't know why it seemed like the right thing to do, especially that quickly, but it did. This was in November. By February I actually did move in, packing up my apartment and the pets and invading his household with all of my crap. EVERYONE was nervous, thinking we were moving too fast, but it honestly didn't seem like it.

By March we were engaged. I managed to win my ring on eBay, a nice, fairly decent sized diamond, for $165 including shipping (I wear a size 4.5, and apparently not too many people do). We made plans to get married in October for our 1 year anniversary, and we started "planning" the wedding. We were getting married in Elkton, MD, the elopement capital of the East Coast. We invited 30 people, including significant others, and as I said, we had our reception at a crab shack. It was one of the most fun weddings I've ever been to. It was short and sweet, and there was no dancing at the reception. There was a ton of drinking and eating, and the cake was fantabulous. 

By this time the bait shop had failed, and Rich had sold it in September. he went back to the tech world because he had 2 of us to support now, and we had already sold everything of value. It sucked, because I loved that bait shop, but it had to be done. 

We decided that we would start trying for a baby fairly soon and I went off the pill, expecting it to take 3 months for me to cycle normally again. Apparently not. I got knocked up in December, about 7 weeks after the wedding. The rest is history.

So to anyone who doubts internet dating I can honestly say it worked out for the best for me. I have a family I adore, a home I love, and am satisfied with everything that came of it.

Have a great Monday everyone. :)

Wow

So it's already 85 degrees out and it's not even noon. We took Livvie to Blue Jay Point County Park which has a playground and loads of grass for her to run on and she had a blast. She cried when it was time to come home, but I didn't want her to burn so home it was.

The place was absolutely packed. There was a Songbirds event today from 9-3, and they had everything there. Crafts and games and a nature hike etc. If Livvie had been a bit older we would definitely have taken part in it. It looked like a lot of fun. 

We ended up taking one of the trails for a little ways because Livvie wanted to. It was time to leave there when she started veering off the trail and into the weeds and plants because I didn't want her to bring home poison ivy. If you'll recall, I got it last year by using pine mulch with my bare hands. Speaking of, don't ever touch pine mulch with your bare hands. It's very common for there to be poison ivy in it. I Googled it.

We've decided to go ahead and start loading her up in the back pack carrier to go hiking out there on nice days. There aren't very many nice days left in 2008, as once May hits it's officially summertime and the temps can get into the 90s already, so it'll have to be soon. Although, it's about 15 degrees cooler under the trees, so maybe we'll be able to swing it after all.

I want to get a child bike seat for the back of Rich's bike so we can start biking as a family out at Falls Dam too. I think we simply need to get out of the house more often, and exercise is probably the way to go.

I hope everyone has a lovely Saturday. Today is off to a good start in this household, and I'm hoping it continues for the rest of the day. See you tomorrow!

Meme for the Day

Since I'm also stumped for a post, I stole this from Dagny. 

1.ONE OF YOUR SCARS, HOW DID YOU GET IT? I was hit by a moped when I was 7. It left a gash on my right leg.

2. WHAT IS ON THE WALLS IN YOUR ROOM? family photos

3. DO YOU KNOW WHAT TIME YOU WERE BORN? 10:02pm

4. WHAT DO YOU WANT MORE THAN ANYTHING RIGHT NOW? for my family to stay healthy.

5. WHAT DO YOU MISS? my Dad

6. WHAT IS YOUR MOST PRIZED POSSESSION? My Batman animation cels

7. HOW TALL ARE YOU? 5′8"

8. DO YOU GET SCARED IN THE DAY? Sometimes.

9. WHAT’S YOUR WORST FEAR? that something bad will happen to Livvie

10. WHAT KIND OF HAIR COLOR DO YOU LIKE ON THE OPPOSITE SEX? Well Rich's hair is white, but usually it's been dark hair.

11. WHAT ABOUT EYE COLOR? Blue

12. COFFEE OR ENERGY DRINK? coffee

13. FAVORITE PIZZA TOPPING? Pepperoni, feta, and banana peppers

14. IF YOU COULD EAT ANYTHING RIGHT NOW, WHAT WOULD IT BE? Pizza

15. FAVORITE COLOR OF ALL TIME? purple

16. HAVE YOU EVER EATEN A GOLDFISH? Nope

17. WHAT WAS THE FIRST MEANINGFUL GIFT YOU EVER RECEIVED? I have no idea.

18. DO YOU HAVE A CRUSH? Viggo

19. FAVORITE CLOTHING BRAND? New Balance sneakers

20. WHAT KIND OF CAR DO YOU WANT? A Nissan Titan

21. WOULD YOU FALL IN LOVE KNOWING THAT THE PERSON IS LEAVING? no

22. HAVE YOU BEEN OUT OF THE USA? Yes. Mexico, Canada, and Ireland

23. YOUR WEAKNESSES? Pretzels

24. MET ANYONE FAMOUS? Nope

25. FIRST JOB? Worked the salad bar at a Ponderosa Steak House

26. EVER DONE A PRANK CALL? When I was about 12

27. DO YOU THINK EVERYONE OUT THERE HAS A SOUL MATE? no.

28. WHAT WERE YOU DOING BEFORE YOU FILLED THIS OUT? GIving Livvie Cheerios

29. HAVE YOU EVER HAD SURGERY? yes.

30. WHAT DO YOU GET COMPLIMENTED ABOUT MOST? my eyes.

31. WHAT DO YOU WANT FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY? A meat mallet.

32. HOW MANY KIDS DO YOU WANT? One.

33. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? Yes, my dad.

34. WHAT IS THE BIGGEST TURN OFF OF THE OPPOSITE SEX? Stupidity

35. WHAT IS ONE THING YOU MISS ABOUT GRADE SCHOOL? Recess

36. WHAT KIND OF SHAMPOO DO YOU USE? Whatever is on sale

37. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? Nope

38. ANY BAD HABITS? Smoking, drinking, and picking my nails

39. ARE YOU A JEALOUS PERSON? sometimes.

40. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU? I'd like to think so.

41. DO YOU AGREE WITH FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS? Not really. It never works.

42. HOW DO YOU RELEASE ANGER? I used to break things and slam my head into things, now I just steam.

43. WHAT’S YOUR MAIN GOAL IN LIFE? Still working on that one.

44. WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE TOY AS A CHILD? Millenium Falcon

45. HOW MANY NUMBERS ARE IN YOUR CELL PHONE? Since I don't use it, I'd imagine none stored.

46. WERE YOU A FAN OF BARNEY AS A LITTLE KID? He was after my time. How old are you supposed to be to fill this thing out???

47. MASHED POTATOES OR MACARONI AND CHEESE? Mashed potatoes

48. DO YOU HAVE ALL YOUR FINGERS AND TOES? yes.

49. DO YOU HAVE A COMPUTER IN YOUR ROOM? no

50. PLANS FOR TONIGHT? None

51. WHAT’S THE FASTEST YOU’VE EVER GONE IN A CAR? 110 MPH

52. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO? the tv

53. LAST THING YOU DRANK? Coke Zero

54. REPUBLICAN OR DEMOCRAT? Democrat

55. DO YOU HAVE A LOW SELF ESTEEM OR A HIGH SELF ESTEEM? Usually low

56. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING? Nothing. I'm re-watching Buffy.

And

The Jeep still sits here. We sold it to "Tim" 2 days ago, and he still hasn't picked it up. Good thing we got the cash, huh?

Now, he did ask Rich if he would mind him letting it stay here, but we thought he meant until later that night. I'm getting the feeling he won't be here until the weekend.

Yesterday was a day from hell after Livvie's naptime. I have no idea how someone can wake up crabby after sleeping an hour and 15 minutes, but whatever. Those are the times when I seriously wonder why I chose to be a stay at home mom. I get to a point where I wish she were someone else's problem, even for only a few hours.

Then I remember why we made this choice.

First of all, we didn't want strangers raising our kid. I'm sure there are wonderful daycare facilities out there, but regardless, it would be someone else shaping who our child is to become. To us that's unacceptable. We wanted to be able to form her personality on our own, and so far it's working out well. She's very independent and knows exactly what she wants, even if she's not capable of communicating it well sometimes. One would think this would be a problem, but it's wonderful knowing that your kid will be capable of not being a part of the herd.

The second reason we chose for me to stay at home was because we didn't make enough money to justify daycare at all. If I had chosen to go back to work I would have earned basically just enough money to place her in daycare, and that would have been pointless. Rich earns enough to pay the bills and the mortgage and buy groceries and take care of us, but we never really have extra. Therefore, no daycare.

The third reason I myself chose to stay home was because once I got pregnant I knew deep in my heart that I would want to be with my kid as much as possible. She might be difficult and a bit stubborn, she might have moments where she's a complete lunatic and drives me absolutely crazy, but I can't even imagine not being with her every day. I adore this kid, and I wouldn't want to leave her for more than a couple of hours at a time. Some people might think that's unhealthy, but she's the most rewarding and important thing I've ever done. It would be nice to be able to get out of the house for breaks more often, and I'm working on that, At the end of the day though, I miss her desperately while I'm out of her company and can't wait to see her again.

So there you have it. 

Have a great Thursday, try to get outside for a bit if the weather is nice, and eat well. Advice I could follow myself.

So...

I did manage to get some plants into the garden yesterday. My friend Cyn told me that I should claim that it was in honor of Earth Day, but considering I didn't even know it was I'll just ignore that totally.

Yesterday we bought:

Thyme

Oregano

3 kinds of Basil

Lamb's Ears

Lemon Balm

Feverfew

Hostas

Salvia

Stevia

Salsa Scarlet

The hostas are for the garden that's right up against the back of the house. Everything else is for the circle garden in the back. Along with everything we bought yesterday we have 2 Rosemarys, more Thyme, Pineapple Sage, Wormwood, the Hibiscus, and a Lilac tree in the center.

I weeded half of the garden yesterday, and it was a nightmare. The garden has a 15 ft diameter, and I ended up giving up on the little claw thing and getting out the Round Up for the rest. It promptly rained. Go figure. I guess it's back to the claw, as they're calling for rain off and on for a few days.

Because Michele asked, here are some pics. The first 3 haven't gone into the ground yet. The last pic is from the only quarter of the garden that's fully planted. I'll take more pics later in the year when everything has filled out.

Salsa Scarlet

Herbs

Herbs and Hostas

The first quarter of the garden

I know they're pretty crappy pictures, but they're the best I can do with the mist going on this morning. 

I plan to weed some more today during Livvie's nap. That should be fun in the mud, although the wetness of the ground might make it easier. I can't get the rest of the plants in until I get the remaining weeds, so it has to be done. Of course, I also have a ton of laundry today, so we'll see what gets done.

I hope everyone has a terrific Wednesday. I'll be back tomorrow. :)

Post #2, The Jeep

We just sold it. Rich posted it on Craigslist this morning at 830, and asked $1750 for it. A guy just came out and gave us cash. He's picking it up tonight. It's for his 18 year old son.

This took less than 3 hours.

Considering we asked the dryer dude for $1000 for it, I'd say we made out pretty well. One of Rich's loans will be completely paid off with this, and a couple more bills will be knocked down as well. We're also using a bit of it to buy the plants today.

It's been a fairly good morning.

Oh MAN...

Jeep Fuck backed out this morning. They were supposed to come by at noon to pick up the Jeep,  and he emailed this morning and said they just don't have the money right now. You'd think that would be something they'd have known a little earlier.

Yesterday I found a green tomato horn worm on my Lilac tree. I literally slapped it into next week. I certainly wasn't going to pick it off with my fingers, so I applied the palm of my hand with a tremendous amount of force and he went sailing off to who knows where. I'm assuming now I'll have to check the tree every day to prevent the little thang from getting munched to bits. My hibiscus is coming back, and I'm pretty excited about that. I pruned it back almost to the root last fall when it died, and I went out yesterday to find a buttload of leaves coming up. It's a beautiful one: giant white flowers with red centers. The flowers are about the size of dinner plates.

Today is supposed to be overcast and dreary, so I think we'll head out to Home Depot to find some plants. The asphalt lot there is way too hot on sunny days, and usually we end up having to put sun screen on Livvie simply to go. Today would be a much better day to venture out. Also, if I decide to get any of the plants in the ground, shady days are much more appropriate to do that to prevent shock.

The skinks are back, so I'm pretty sure that summer is quickly on its way. Last year I had a skink I named Norm, and he hung out on our deck and learned not to run away when I walked out. I really wanted to pick him up and see what he felt like, but I think that would have been asking too much of him. This year I've seen a brown one that looks like Norm, but who can tell. I'm pretty sure they all look alike. We also get black ones with blue tails and yellow stripes down their backs, and those are absolutely gorgeous. So far none of them are missing their tails, so I guess the birds haven't caught up with them yet. I haven't seen a single baby snake in the back yard this year, and I haven't seen any full sized ones either. This is good. We mainly get black snakes and rat snakes, but copperheads also have a tendency to hang out in the grasses down in this neck of the woods. Obviously this is dangerous for the dogs when they go out, so Rich tries to keep the grass cut short so we won't have to deal with them.

The deer have apparently moved through for now, but we'll see what happens once the caladium come up. Last year they ate every single one of them down to the stems, and it was pretty awful. The bunnies ate the ornamental grass down to nubs, and this year the actual lawn is encroaching upon the garden, so we're not going to worry about the grasses. Rich simply mowed them down when he cut the grass last week. I'd like to get a border for the garden, maybe some of those little black plastic things because they're cheaper than brick, but we'll see. 

I hope everyone has a lovely Tuesday. And thank you everyone for your kind comments yesterday. They were very much appreciated.

Sandi

When I tell this story I can barely breathe, and I actually get chest pains, so bear with me.

My ex-husband had a step-mother named Sandi. She had two sons, Jonathan and Russell. In 1997 Jonathan was 18 years old, and Russell was 15. Sandi was one of the most amazing women I had ever met. I loved her dearly, and wanted to be her when I grew up.

In March of 1997 Ex's father had moved to California, and Sandi was supposed to follow him as soon as the house sold. Jonathan was still living with her, and Russell had already moved to California. We were living about 3 hours away at the time. 

Sandi went to California to visit with her husband, and while she was there she tried to pay for something with her credit card. She discovered it was maxed out. She knew immediately that it was Jonathan, and when she got home to NC she confronted him with it. She then had him arrested to teach him a lesson.

Within the evening he appeared in court and when the magistrate asked him if he had ever been in trouble before he said no, and was released on his own recognizance. It was a lie, and the magistrate never checked. Imagine that.

Ex and I got a phone call from his uncle a few days later saying the Sandi had gone missing. I immediately knew she was dead and that Jonathan had killed her. We packed up our dog and drove to Raleigh to wait for something, anything, any kind of news. Ex's father and step-brother were to fly home from California the next day.

When we got to their house the CCBI met us there to scour the house for clues as to her disappearance. Jonathan was also missing, but he had left the house a complete wreck. There were soda cans and cigarette butts all over the carpet, and it appeared as if he had had a party. We watched and waited as the investigators went through the house and supposedly checked from top to bottom. We spoke to the detectives handling the case and let them know that Jonathan had been trouble since he was a child. Neighborhood pets kept going missing, and he had once shot a puppy just for fun. The investigators left, and we set up our air mattress in the living room to go to bed for the night.

We were lying in the dark and the Ex asked me if they had checked the bedroom. I told him yes, and he then asked me if they had flipped the mattress. I told him no. We grabbed a flashlight and went up to check things out. When we got up there I spied a bit of blood on the quilt, and told myself it was nothing; that possibly Sandi had cut herself shaving at one point. We got ready, and as Ex lifted the mattress I shone the flashlight between it and the box spring. That's when we found the entire contents of Sandi's skull squashed between the two.

I lost my mind and ran downstairs screaming. Ex was a paramedic and handled things much more calmly, as he picked up the phone and called the police and demanded that they send officers out Right Now. I remained a basket case, sitting in the kitchen and rocking back and forth while shaking uncontrollably. The detectives arrived with CCBI again, and they asked us to leave the house while they searched. They used luminol and found washed away blood everywhere in the bedroom. Ex's aunt and uncle came to pick us up, and we spent the night at their house, but never slept.

The next day they dragged the lake by the house and searched the woods. Eventually they returned to the house to continue their search there. One of the officers spied what he thought was a window in the bedroom, but upon moving a piece of furniture they discovered it was a door to a balcony. They opened it and found Sandi, She was wrapped in a shower curtain and tarps, and she had been there for several days including when Jonathan partied in the house. 

Apparently when he got out of court that night he had been arrested he got himself a 357 Magnum and returned to the house where his mother was already asleep. He then put the gun to her head and blew out her brains. He dragged the body into the bathroom and washed her in the shower and took a shower as well. They found blood traces in the stall.

He hid for several days until someone tipped off the police as to where he was. A standoff with the SWAT team then occurred and lasted several hours. He refused to go back to jail, and after much negotiation with the police a shot was heard and they moved in. He had shot himself in the head.

I have never been the same since. 

Lessons Learned

I wanted to post this pic of myself, Clancy, Koko, and Pooh. I was sick at the time, and all three of them kept me company in bed. I don't have any of them anymore. Clancy and Koko are dead, and my ex-husband took the dogs with him when he moved away. Pooh was my dog. He followed me all over the house and laid on me all of the time. I was crazy about him.

My divorce didn't go well. I moved out in March, and in August the divorce became final. I went to my old house to pick up the paperwork, walked into the house, and was greeted by no dogs. I asked the asshat where the dogs were, and he said they were in Pennsylvania. I completely lost my mind. I screamed at him that I hadn't even had a chance to say goodbye, and I then ran around the house grabbing things saying, "This is mine, this is mine, this is mine." I even went into the back yard and dug up my wormwood plant. I also took one of our dogs' tennis balls. I loaded everything into the car and drove to the nearest ABC store and bought a bottle of bourbon and a bottle of scotch. I went home and proceeded to drink shots of bourbon until I was completely plastered.

I had put off college while I was married to allow the Ex to go to school. I wasted 5 years when I could have been studying for an actual career. When we divorced I asked for no alimony, and got none of our furniture and almost none of our belongings. All I asked for was text book fees to allow me to go to school. The asshat refused.

So I ended up stuck in dead end jobs with little salary and little opportunity for advancement. This is how my mom ended up giving me an allowance every two weeks at the age of 30. How freaking embarrassing is that? I wasn't making enough money to live, and on my salary alone I would never even have been able to make my rent. It was quite depressing. 

I guess the point of all of this is to say that I should have taken better care of myself in that relationship. I should have actually maybe not put myself first, but made sure I could be financially independent. The irony is that at this point in my life it's almost impossible to do so, being a stay at home mom and not having had a job for almost 2 years now. I'm sure I could find another dead end job somewhere, but I still don't have the ability to actually get an education.

It's a damn good thing that I actually trust this marriage to last.

God, I'm Tired

I woke up at 4am. I couldn't stop thinking, so I remained awake until about 630, when I finally started drifting off again, at which point Livvie woke up at 643.

I have run the dishwasher, washed the pots and pans from last night, and done a load of laundry. Other than folding the laundry and emptying the dishwasher, I think I'm done for the day.

Livvie and I played a lot this morning, and she's been very huggy today. I'm not sure whether it's because she knows I need it or what, but I'll take it.

I really have nothing else to say today. So I'll leave you with these:

Daddy at 18

Me at 33

Livvie at 17 months

As you can see, we've either perfected cloning, or the genes are pretty frigging strong. Poor Rich. It's like he was merely a sperm donor.

In 30 minutes

It will be done.

Alan will have his funeral Mass at 10am, and then the unbelievable line of cars will follow the hearse to the cemetary where his smile will be laid to rest forever.

Mom went to the viewing for me last night. She got there 20 minutes early, and she said there was already a line stretching to the door. His mom is hanging on, somehow, but his wife Karen was apparently completely distraught. I can well imagine. I feel so bad for her, and although I never met her, I want nothing more than to hug her tight right now.

There were boards and boards full of photos there last night. Mom said there was one of the two of us. I need that pic. I located his parents' address this morning and will send them a sympathy card and ask if they could send me a copy. I'm pretty sure the only photo I have of the two of us was taken on graduation day in 1989, and that photo resides up in NJ in my mother's house somewhere. I doubt she could find it.

When/If I receive a photo from them I will post it. Until then, this will be my last post on this topic. I know it's depressing, and I'm sorry for that. I simply need to get this disbelief out of my system and move on. I am pretty sure I've hit the denial stage. The next stage is anger. I'm fairly sure that will hit soon. With my father's death I skipped denial and went straight into anger from the moment the news was delivered to me. I stayed angry for quite some time. I don't expect this to be any different.

I leave you with a poem.

Do Not Stand at My Grave and Weep

Mary Elizabeth Frye

Do not stand at my grave and weep;

I am not there. I do not sleep.

I am a thousand winds that blow.

I am the diamond glints on snow.

I am the sunlight on ripened grain.

I am the gentle autumn rain.

When you awaken in the morning's hush

I am the swift uplifting rush

Of quiet birds in circled flight.

I am the soft stars that shine at night.

Do not stand at my grave and cry;

I am not there. I did not die.

*sigh*

By 1pm yesterday I was simply numb. I wasn't crying anymore, I was just staring into space and couldn't stop.

I learned that Alan's kids are 3 years old and 2 months old. I can't even imagine what his wife is going to do. Thank goodness the family is rather large, so she'll have a lot of support.

We decided to take Livvie to Falls Dam yesterday afternoon to get both of us out of the house (see left). She was very busy running around, and even took one of the trails down to the end. It was downhill at first, and then on the way uphill I was made aware of how badly smoking sucks.

I needed to see the water. It was very soothing to look at the flow of water on one side of the dam, the part where they empty it into the river. I was still staring off, but it wasn't as empty a feeling to me. It was remembering, and smiling inside, and wondering where he is now. I watched Livvie run around and hoped that she would eventually find a friend so important to her. I also hoped that if so they'd never drift apart.

We got home at about 2pm and I started on the wine at 3pm. I was getting Irish Maudlin Drunk and started to listen to music to make myself even more depressed. Here is "Carrickfergus." For those who have never heard it I recommend the version by The Dubliners. You can find a 4 minute version on iTunes, and a 6 minute version there as well.

Carrickfergus

I wish I was in Carrickfergus, only for nights in Ballygrand
I would swim over the deepest ocean, the deepest ocean for my love to find
But the sea is wide and I cannot swim over and neither have I wings to fly
If I could find me a handsome boatman to ferry me over to my love and die

My childhood days bring back sad reflections of happy times I spent so long ago
My boyhood friends and my own relations have all passed on now like melting snow
But I'll spend my days in endless roaming soft sit the grass my bed is free
Ah to be back in Carrickfergus on that long road down to the sea

And in Kilkenny it is reported there on marble stones as black as ink
With gold and silver I would support her, but I'll sing no more now till I get a drink
I'm drunk today and I'm seldom sober, a handsome rover from town to town
Ah, but I'm sick now, my days are numbered so come all ye young men and lay me down

There was much toasting involved with the drinking, and I was almost face down in my glass by the time I finished at about 10pm. Yep, 7 hours of drinking and getting depressed. Probably not a good idea, but it did manage to help. I might have been staring into my wine, but I no longer felt as numb and detached. 

Thank you everyone for your good thoughts and kind words yesterday. It meant a lot.

Alan Young

When we were 3 we took baths together while his mom baby sat me. When we were 4 we were addicted to Ultraman. When we were 6 we saw Star Wars and he attempted to steal my action figures.

He was always smiling, and his pants were always falling down because he had no butt.

When we were 7 we got into a snowball fight and he packed one of his balls with ice and hit me in the face with it. I jumped the fence and beat the ever living shit out of him.

We crabbed together with my father, and when one of the crabs pinched me he laughed at me and I attempted to throw him overboard.

He taught me how to fish in the creek, and we used to go turtling and bring home the tiniest painted turtles you could imagine. We kept them as pets.

We went to a park called Sesame Place one time and on the way home my father stopped traffic to rescue some box tortoises from the highway. When we got home we fought about who they belonged to and I won because it was MY dad who had saved them.

We used to play in refrigerator boxes, using my front steps to get inside and roll down them. It probably wasn't the most intelligent thing to do, but we sustained no injuries. Lasting ones anyway.

When we were 13 he needed open heart surgery, and I was completely hysterical. You see, I had loved him since the time we were 5, and I would chase him around trees telling him he would marry me. He would always holler, "NO!" but I was persistent.

He was a Van Halen freak, and he introduced me to the album 1984, and then the earlier ones. I developed a love for them as well, simply because HE loved them. 

When we were 16 he came to my birthday party, and laughed his ass off when I opened a 2 liter bottle of Coke and had to slam my mouth down over the opening because it exploded.

He was in love with a girl named Jennifer, and she treated him quite poorly. They broke up after a year.

He learned to surf when he was 16, and I remember him coming out of the house with his board and his wetsuit and driving off, leaving me jealous that he had learned how to do something so amazing. He was always tan, and he had the best smile in the world. He was, quite frankly, hot.

Alan died on Monday. He simply dropped dead at the age of 37. I haven't been able to stop crying all morning. I canceled Emma's vet appointment, set up my altar, and am burning candles for him and offering wine and cookies to the goddess to watch over him as he makes his crossing.

I am devastated. I am bereft. And I just don't get it.

YOUNG, ALAN
Suddenly on April 14, 2008, age 37, of Sicklerville formerly of Oaklyn passed away.
Alan was a jokester and he loved surfing and snowboarding. He was a member of I.B.E.W. Local 351 in Folsom. He was a 1989 graduate of Collingswood High School. He always had a smile on his face and he was an outstanding husband, father, son and brother.
He is lovingly survived by his wife, Karen (nee Mortimer); his sons, Trevor and Jayden; his parents, Albert and Blanche; his sister, Tracy (Conrad); his grandmothers, Blanche Abrams and Gertrude Young; his mother-in-law, Blanche Mortimer; his brother-in-laws, Kevin (Mary) and Kenny (Colleen); his grandmother-in-law, Blanche Borger and numerous nieces and nephews.
Relatives and friends are invited to his viewing Thursday from 7:00 -9:00 PM at the HEALEY FUNERAL HOME, 9 White Horse Pike, Haddon Heights. His Funeral Mass will be held Friday morning 10:00 AM at St. Aloysius Church, 37 W. Haddon Ave., Oaklyn. Interment New St. Mary's Cemetery, Bellmawr. In lieu of flowers, donations may be made to: The Family of Alan Young c/o Healey Funeral Home, 9 White Horse Pike, Haddon Heights, NJ 08035.

Ugh

Livvie woke up at 652 this morning. SIX FIFTY TWO. Needless to say I was not ready for that.

So I brought her out of her room and changed her diaper and started the coffee. As the coffee was brewing I decided to go out to smoke. I went to open the door. It was already open. Yes, folks, not only did The Husband leave the door unlocked last night, but it was also only pushed to. I admit I got pissed. Mildly. Not only could any freak have wandered in here last night and done God knows what, but my dog Ginny knows how to open the door when it's only pushed to and she easily could have escaped. Awesome.

Rich has off today, which works out well because my dog Emma has her annual vet visit this morning. I had been trying to figure out how on earth I was going to manage both her and Livvie in the exam room this morning, and honestly I kept coming up with nothing. It's not like I could leave Livvie out in the waiting room to play with the toys out there. So thankfully Rich decided to take the day off, and things will be much easier for me. The main concern was that Emma occasionally does not vet well, and when I first got her she literally tried to kill the vet tech that was restraining her. She's gotten better over the years, but that doesn't keep me from being on my guard. If she had lost her mind with Livvie in the room things would Not Have Been Good.

Rich does plan to go to Home Depot for project materials today. I have no idea what said project will be, and as far as I know he won't know until he gets there. He wants to build a well house for the well cap, so maybe he'll start with that. He has a lot of projects scheduled for this spring and summer, including ripping up the old deck on the side of the house and replacing it to match the deck he built in the back of the house while I was pregnant. He also wants to build an extension off the roof of the shed so he can store stuff under it and keep it from getting wet. I have a feeling I'm going to end up getting irritated quite a bit, especially while he's redoing the deck. I jut don't know how we'll get in and out of the house while he's working on it. He said that it'll be possible, but no matter how hard I try I can't figure out how.

Have a great Wednesday everyone. See you tomorrow.

Ok, False Alarm Part 2

Apparently Dryer Dude is going to buy the Fuckingjeep after all. He's waiting for his tax check to come. That's good, because I was seriously getting pissed.

I finally went to the grocery store today. Yes, I have been putting it off since Saturday. Because I suck. We were seriously almost out of food, so my bill came to $141. That includes a cheap ass on sale carton of smokes though, so I honestly don't think I made out too badly.

Creepy Brian was not at the store today, but one of the managers has started recognizing me, and that freaks me out a little bit. I think I might be spending too much time there. Once a week even. Wish we had more room in the kitchen to shop for 2 weeks at a time.

Did you know that 41 men have died in the past decade while fishing for Alaskan Crab? Yes, I am totally addicted to Deadliest Catch, and I don't know what to do about it. I actually got pissed yesterday because during the 4pm episode Rich was playing with Livvie and they were making a ton of noise and I couldn't hear a damn thing. Did I mention I suck? I mean honestly, my husband is actually taking the kid off my hands for a bit and I get pissed over a TV show being interrupted. 

I'm also addicted to Dirty Jobs, which I'm sure I mentioned before. Quandry: Dirty Jobs moved to Monday nights at 9 to make room for the new season of Deadliest Catch on Tuesdays. House is coming back on Monday nights. I never manage to watch anything I've DVRd, and I'm going to miss Dirty Jobs until House ends in 6 weeks. By which time the new season of Dirty Jobs might be over and into reruns. Deadliest Catch is on during Hell's Kitchen, which I am also addicted to. So here's the thing: how do I manage to start watching the stuff I recorded? I still haven't watched any of the episodes of Lost after the first one this season, and I'm pretty sure the DVR has erased them by now to make room for new stuff. This isn't a large problem in the grand scheme of things, but it's my life, and I find it annoying. Someone needs to kick my ass once a day and remind me to watch the damn things I recorded. I leave that up to you.

That's it. Randomness done. Have a great Tuesday everyone.

False Alarm?

The guy that was going to buy Fuckingjeep today or tomorrow hasn't called yet. I'm afraid he decided to back out. Oh well, we'll probably post it on Craigslist, and since we're only asking $1000 it will probably go quickly.

I decided to stay up until 10pm last night to watch Batman Begins. I guess it was worth it, but I felt like absolute hell this morning. How sad when I used to stay up reading until 4am or later.

We've had a good day so far. I've spent the morning watching Pirates of the Caribbean with Nina via IM, and it's been nice. Especially since Sundays are now Livvie days on the TV since nothing is on, so we spend the day watching animated movies. Which I love, don't get me wrong, but 4 or 5 of them eventually gets old. She asked for the DVD player to be put on this morning, and was a bit pissed that Pirates was my choice, but she got over it quickly. We're planning on watching the second movie as soon as I finish this post, and luckily Livvie is napping so she won't bust me with the remote again. That didn't go well this morning.

I plan on doing absolutely nothing today. I did manage to clean the stove this morning, and I think that's about it for my day. We never went grocery shopping this weekend, and I honestly don't care. I dug out a container of homemade spaghetti sauce from the freezer last night, and spaghetti will have to do for dinner tonight. I also have homemade meatballs, so that should be good. I'm so tired of cooking every night. I'd honestly like to order a pizza, but I don't think Rich would go for it as Tuesdays are the Large for Medium special at a little place called Bella Italia. The place is run by actual Italians, which is rare down here, and they use whole milk mozzarella, which is also unheard of down here. The pizzas are fantastic, and they taste just like those from up home in NJ.

That's about it for today. Sorry it's been so random. I do have a comment about yesterday's post though. I don't think any of you who haven't seen any Buffy are dorks, but I do recommend the show highly. The first season is ok, but once you move past that the show becomes absolutely incredible.

Have a great Monday everyone. I'll see you tomorrow.

My Morning

Has been spent drinking coffee, going out to smoke, and watching Buffy. 

Buffy is now on Sunday mornings on the FX channel at 7am. Since I don't have all of the seasons on disk I've been getting up before 7 on Sundays, getting my coffee, checking my email, and sitting down in front of Buffy.

The current episode is the one where the vamps invade parent-teacher night at the school. I adore this episode so it was a nice surprise this morning. There's this scene where Xander has to go into Buffy's purse and accidentally pulls out a tampon and...well...never mind.

I had only occasionally ever seen episodes of Buffy until my friend Jmac essentially told me that if I didn't start watching them I'd basically be a dork forever. So I Netflixed season 1, and got hooked within 3 episodes. Livvie even got into it at the time, because she would jam out to the opening theme music. In fact, I'm thinking of putting on some of season 4 this week and watching to see if she still recognizes the theme.

Well, cancel that. The show just ended and she showed no reaction to the theme music whatsoever. Oh well. It used to be funny to watch her bounce up and down in her Bumbo seat while the music was on. I guess it's been too long.

I guess I'll start my day. Cleaning, vacuuming, getting some laundry done, finding season 1 on my eBay dude's sale list, buying that, going to the grocery store etc. Have a wonderful Sunday everyone.

Post #2, Fred

This is Fred. First thing this morning I spied Fred sitting on the side wall of our house (outdoors). Fred is about 2 inches long, and as I hope you can see his wings look like tree bark.

This leads me to believe Fred is suicidal. As you can see our walls are white. We have a ton of birds around our house. I hope Fred's depression isn't a long lasting sort.

Fred has been sitting there for at least 3 hours, and every time I've gone out to smoke today I've spoken to him. He doesn't move a leg. I've asked him nicely to leave, but either he doesn't speak English or he's ignoring me. Probably the latter.

I don't plan to get rid of Fred in anyway at all. I'd really like to see how long he hangs out. I'm hoping he at least eats something soon, but I haven't a clue as to what Fred would eat. He has a cute face, and he doesn't look to be the sort to eat other bugs. I am hoping he's a vegetarian, unless he'll eat the wasps that have currently decided to make my hanging jack-o-lantern their new home (yes, it's still hanging out there. I know it's April).

So give a shout out to Fred, one of the nicest, most placid bugs I have ever seen. And yes, I am usually grossed out by giant bugs, but as I've mentioned, he has a cute face.

Huh?

Yesterday I happened to be outside when the mail man pulled up in his little Jeep. I stood on the deck as he reached out to open our mailbox and put new mail in. This was when I noticed... a blue latex glove on his "mail hand."

His driving hand was bare, but the right hand was enclosed in one of those powder blue latex gloves that you see in hospitals.

So I got to wondering. WTF? Is he afraid of mailbox cooties? Is he terrified of anthrax? Does he think perhaps that mailbox spiders will launch themselves at him when he opens the box and sink their fangs into his hand?

So I'm still thinking about it. I'm hoping that I'll catch him again today and see whether or not it will be repeated. It has me very confused.

Fantasia

Has arrived. Livvie is singularly unimpressed with it. I put it on, and at the beginning when they're explaining how the movie works, she started crying. Once the music started she calmed down, but she's not paying attention to it at all, and I would have thought that with all of the swirling goodness she would have been fascinated. Oh well.

A story about Fantasia that you might find shocking:

When I was a young teenager (February 23rd, 1985 to be exact) my then boyfriend and I went to see the re-release of the movie in the theater. It was a warm, spring-like day, and we walked into the theater, bought our popcorn and cokes, and had a seat in the auditorium. My boyfriend wasn't convinced that he would like it, but I was eager to see it again as the first time I saw it I was about 6 years old and remembered loving it. The movie started and I was enthralled.

The movie was about 2 hours long, and I could tell that boyfriend was shifting uncomfortably and was bored. Toward the end of the movie there came a piece of music called A Night on Bald Mountain. The main piece of art in this segment was a demon called Chernobog (see image above left). That piece of music was the most stirring thing I had ever heard, and Chernobog (not apparent in image above left) was incredibly sexy. Just one of the most evil and charismatic thing I had ever seen. The lure of the damned. Just what a young girl needs.

The movie ended and we left the theater. There was a bit of time left before mom was coming to pick us up. I'm sure you can see where this is going (especially since the date is burned into my memory). We wandered off into the woods and did The Deed. The first time for both of us. I remember that I thought it was nothing spectacular. Certainly nothing like I had read in books or had seen in movies. I remember that it hurt like a bitch, and that I was totally embarrassed when mom came to pick me up, although she sensed nothing.

A month went by and AF was late. I was absolutely panicked. I came to my mother sobbing and confessed the whole thing. She was very understanding although also completely disappointed in me. The disappointment was the hardest thing to bear. She convinced me to wait to go to the doctor because at that age AF was so unreliable in the first place. She was right. AF finally arrived, and my relief was so strong that I never did The Deed again for several more years. I could never go through that hell again I felt.

So there's the story. Oh, and the DVD that just arrived froze and skipped backward and is unwatchable. Didn't get to see A Night on bald Mountain. Husband is safe from my advances for the meantime, until I see if the disk can be repaired. Is he lucky? He'd probably consider himself not.

YES!!!!!

Cesar Laurean has been captured.

Nothing funny here today folks, just my overwhelming joy that this might be coming to an end.

Story Here...

I get sick enough when women are murdered. I want to barf up my guts when pregnant women are murdered. Hopefully the poor girl's family will get some real answers soon.

In 40 Minutes

The Fuckingboat will be out of our lives forever.

I'd like to thank my new friend that I met today for actually getting me out of the house and giving me something to do with the kid. We met at the playground (she has a 2 year old) and it was great fun. Livvie managed to stay there for an hour and 20 minutes which is a record for her, and when it was time to go home she didn't want to leave.

It's 82 degrees according to our snowman thermometer outside, and I actually had to use the air conditioner on the way home from the playground because the inside of the truck was so hot.

Speaking of the truck: I have had ZERO anxiety about driving Livvie anywhere since I started driving the truck again. I think it's because that damn vehicle is an extension of me, and I know every little move it makes. I also think the Fuckingjeep, being a V-8, might have had a little too much power for me. I know that when it was time to stop at lights in it I was often unsure as to whether or not the damn thing would stop at all. So yeah, who needs a therapist when you can just go back to your original vehicle and take care of everything in one shot?

Have I mentioned how much I love that truck?

I was out deadheading the petunias a few minutes ago and I could literally see the pollen floating through the air. I keep my cases of cokes outside, and every morning when I bring some in to put them into the fridge I have to wipe off the green shit. It's insane. I honestly can't wait for this little phase of living in NC to end for this year.

That's it for today folks. I hope everyone has a great Thursday!

I'm sorry

I have really nothing to say except

WE SOLD THE FUCKINGJEEP!

When the dude came by to pick up the Freecycled dryer the other day he asked about the boat. Rich told him that the boat had already been sold, but that he'd sell him the jeep for $1000. The guy was flabbergasted and talked to us for a long time. Apparently he went home and thought about it and decided he wanted to buy it. So he's getting it either Monday or Tuesday. 

IT'S NOT MY PROBLEM ANYMORE!!!!!

Ok, now that that's out of the way, have a great Wednesday everyone and I'll hopefully have more to say tomorrow. 

It's BACK...

This is my baby. I haven't driven my baby since this past summer, when it started pulling to the right in traffic and nearly getting me killed. I started driving the Fuckingjeep instead, and was lost without my truck.

Granted, it's a 2 seater, and so not the safest vehicle on the planet for a toddler to be in, but it's elevated higher than any sedan, so I figure we'll come out better in a fight. 

My truck is a stick shift. The Fuckingjeep is an automatic. I'm sure you can guess by my control freak tendencies which one I prefer. 

The reason we are calling it Fuckingjeep is because it's been giving me problems non-stop since i started driving it this past summer. It has electrical issues, and occasionally if you start it the entire dash goes out, along with the signals and the windows. This is why I HATE computer controlled cars. Sometimes when I start it it doesn't choose to start until the 3rd or 4th try. This is invariably at the store, not at home. Oh, and the air conditioning doesn't work, which sucked last year when it was 107 degrees.

So after the last incident with it I informed Rich that I refused to drive it anymore. The truck had been fixed in January when we got it inspected (it was due in September), so there would be no problem with that anymore. 

Rich moved the Fuckingjeep into the spot the truck had been inhabiting, and we parked the truck in the driveway. It looked good there. Homey.

Oh. My. Gah. I loved it. LOVED it. Livvie loved being up front with me, and it was nice to be able to look over and see her. I didn't forget to use the clutch to start it, and I didn't have a single issue on hills or at stop lights. I was awesome. The truck was awesome. And I don't ever want to sell the damn thing. I mean honestly, it gets 24mpg. For a TRUCK. How can you beat that? The Fuckingjeep was getting 12mpg.

So if you see a chick in a greenish tan Nissan Frontier zipping along the streets of Raleigh yelling "YEE-HA!" you'll know it's me. 

Going once...

So I listed our extra dryer on Freecycle last night and got 8 replies. Someone is picking it up this afternoon at 1, but everyone else wants to be next on the list if they don't show. Um, no. The next person on the list gets to be the next person on the list, and that's the way it works you dingo heads.

Yesterday was awesome. I'm not going to give you the complete list of what we watched, because that is boring, but I do want to mention that we watched Mulan, and both Livvie and Rich enjoyed it. Rich isn't an animated movie kind of person. So that was fun. As usual, Livvie mainly ignored it in favor of playing, however, the songs in this particular movie caught her interest. Good deal.

Due to her fascination with all things audio/visual, I won her the DVD of Fantasia on eBay last night for a ridiculously low amount of money given that it's a new copy. I've seen it on eBay going for almost $60 and we scored it for $17. Now my mom can shut up. She kept badgering me to hook up our VCR so I could play the Fantasia tape for Livvie, and frankly, I don't want to. First of all, the tape is most likely destroyed because it got damp, and second of all, VHS??? 

I do need to mention one potential issue. I haven't been using the remote in front of her at all, but at the end of each DVD she watches me eject the disk, get a new one, and start it up again. I don't know how she figured it out so quickly, but now when the credits roll she whines and puts her hands on the DVD player to indicate another one is to be inserted, NOW. I might have essentially substituted one monster for another.

Yesterday

We watched all 5+ hours of Pride and Prejudice after all. It was swoon worthy, and I'm not much of a chick flick person, but this is one of my favorite movies of all time. I was bummed because Nina wasn't around to watch it with me via IM, and it wasn't as much fun without her (hair jiggle!), but it was enjoyable just the same. Livvie wasn't that into it, but she behaved wonderfully the entire time it was on. I do have to mention that at one point in our lives Nina and I turned P&P into a drinking game and would for instance drink every time someone said "Indeed" or "Mr Collins!" and it was great fun.

After we watched that I decided to play to her interests (maybe) and I put on Finding Nemo for her. At the beginning she was fascinated by the colors of the fish and the ocean scenes, and then she lost interest when Nemo ended up in the fish tank. Regardless, we watched it twice, and then I put on A Bug's Life for her, which she seemed to enjoy more. We got halfway through that before it was bedtime, and I shut it off to watch Fellowship of the Ring on TNT even though I own the damn thing and can now (FINALLY) watch it whenever I want.

Today we watched the end of A Bug's Life when she finally woke up because she wasn't interested in the dog show on Animal Planet, and after it was over I put on Beauty and the Beast, which is now on. She's occasionally stopping what she's doing to watch the TV, but she seems fairly uninterested in this as well. This is basically what I'm aiming for, and I'm hoping that eventually she'll be so uninterested in the TV that I can turn it off altogether. In the meantime I'm making sure that whatever is on is something that I can enjoy as well. In fact, we're off to Target this weekend to get a few more DVDs, such as Tarzan and Animaniacs, that won't drive me bugshit.

So thanks for keeping your fingers crossed everyone, it seems to be working. Have a great Saturday!

What it Actually Meant

It actually meant that I got to watch all 4 hours of The Return of the King. Yes I did. ALLLLLLLL of it. Well, except for that little place where my DVD froze and then skipped back several chapters, which was near the end of the first disk anyway so I went ahead and loaded disk 2.

She loved the action sequences because the music would get louder and she liked the music. She apparently LOVED Sean Astin because she went up to the TV and started petting his face. And get this: She cried when it ended and I had to put something else on.

My kid. Crying at the end of ROTK. *sniff* I'm so proud. Seriously, she behaved very well throughout the whole movie. She went on remote hunts a few times and whined, but there were no actual tears and I'd say the whining lasted a maximum of 5-10 seconds each time. It was entirely manageable on my part. Other than a few times when she would sit in her little tub and actually pay attention to the action on the screen she did what she usually does with the TV on: run around and play.

After ROTK I ended up having to put on Deadliest Catch on Discovery, which you know, is about crab fishermen so it's absolutely fascinating to me. Trust me, there was also nothing else on. Stupid daytime TV. After that ended at 5 the news went on and once again remained on until she went to bed at 7.

So folks, including her nap yesterday she went 11.5 hours without any of her TV on. A full day. This morning the news is on again and she's been fine. Not even one search for the remote yet. I have this overwhelming urge to put on Pride and Prejudice today and make her sit through all 5 hours of it. Hey, payback is a bitch you know...

The Other Shoe?

Waiting for it to drop.

Yesterday I put on the Discovery Channel during Livvie's first nap attempt at 11. She wouldn't sleep, so I got her out at 1130 and left the channel on. She lost her mind for 12 minutes, screaming and crying hysterically and looking for the remote. She eventually calmed down enough to let me rock her and then she got up and went to play.

A few times throughout the day she went looking for the remote and whined again, no real crying those times, but I left the TV on with things I'd watch. We watched Law and Order from 2-4, and then because I couldn't get the remote out while she was watching we got stuck watching Charmed from 4-515. I then turned the news on, and the news was on until she went to bed at 7.

That's 7.5 hours total with none of her shows on folks.

This morning before she got up I put on the local morning news and left it on. She hasn't made a single peep yet today, nor has she gone looking for the remote yet. I'll have to somehow manage to change the channel at 9, because that's when the "judge" shows come on, but it APPEARS as if today is going to be fine.

Can that really be it? Could it really have only taken one day? I just don't believe it.

I was planning on not allowing any of her shows until the weekend, but now I'm thinking that I might not even do that. It wouldn't hurt my feelings if she totally forgot that the Einsteins or the Wiggles ever existed. 

Do you know what this MEANS????

This might mean that I can finally watch Season 2 of Angel. Yes it does. This might mean that I can finally get caught up on Lost. This might mean that I can finally watch the movie BFF loaned to me. 

Fingers crossed please. It just can't be this easy.

Some Random Stuff and Your Pic of the Day

Here's your pic first. Yes, This is Livvie's new favorite pastime. We're constantly pulling her fingers out, but they go right back in again. I missed the shot the other day where she had one index finger in each nostril. It simply happened too fast. I hope you'll forgive me.

The random: 

I'm pretty sure she thinks the TV is called, "be careful," and that the dog is called, "be gentle." 

Our black jeep is no longer black. It is currently green due to the pine pollen. Unfortunately the city is still under Stage 2 water restrictions, so I can't even take it through the car wash. Not that I should bother anyway until all of this stops. Last night we watched all of it swirling around in the beam from the flood light, and it was absolutely disgusting. Rich referred to them as jagged-edged bitches, and if you look at pollen through a microscope you'll see that he's correct. 

Yesterday I saw a cardinal fight in midair. It was truly something to see as they beat their wings at each other and attempted to peck while still in flight. The sheer level of noise produced by that was almost enough to wake Livvie up from her nap. It was insane. During the fight a female landed on our feeder, and I suspect that she was the reason for the fisticuffs. Unfortunately during their fight they lost sight of her as she took off in the opposite direction, and I have a feeling they were quite shocked when the fight ended.

We also have swarms of flying bugs. I have no idea what they are, but they swarm everyday at about 4pm. They look like strangely shaped flies of some sort, and they're absolutely disgusting. When I take the dogs out at their regularly appointed 430 time the fly things land on them, and I have no idea if they bite or not. I walked out of the house yesterday evening to find Rich spraying a bottle of bug-b-gon at them while they were still in flight. I have no idea if it worked on those particular bugs or not, but if it did they were quickly replaced by hundreds of others.

That's it for today folks. Enjoy your Wednesday, and I'll be back tomorrow. 

SOLD!!!

Fuckingboat is sold. More or less. We haven't received the check yet, but the man buying it made an offer and is going to be purchasing it later this week. 

Rich had been asking $4995 for Fuckingboat and included in his ad that if it didn't sell by the weekend then it was going to the marina to be sold on consignment there. He got a bite. A guy deployed in Iraq decided he wanted it and sent his wife out to look at it on Saturday. That was rather amusing as she brought one of her friends with her, and they were both of the giggly, early 20s breed of chick. They both barely paid attention to the actual boat, but when they saw the sink working and that it had a bathroom they were sold. To be fair, Rich did start the engine for them and they were very impressed that it started right up on the first turn of the key. So I'm sure that was reported to the hubby.

They left and said they'd email back. We waited a few days because since he's deployed how often can he get to email, you know? So yesterday the soldier dude emailed and made an offer. We sold the boat for $4500. Not terrible. It would have been nice to have the extra $500 though.

The giggly wife is planning to bring a Toyota Tundra to pick up the boat. She's never towed a boat before. Given the size of this beast it should be interesting to see if she even makes it out of our driveway without tipping it sideways into our ditch. Rich is going to be kind enough to make sure the trailer tires are filled with air and that the wheels are good and lubed up since the trailer is going to be mainly on the highway. We're also wondering if she'll be able to manage the highway speeds with the boat. Rich is even thinking of recommending that she keep to the right, do 50, and keep her hazards on.

So I'm a bit nervous for her. I hope she can make it. But on the plus side, how frigging cool is it going to be for soldier dude to come home to this giant, gorgeous boat in his driveway? I'm very excited for him.